One Little Sumner

Daddy's girl

2012-02-01T15:39:00.000-08:00

Emma is lucky in that she gets some good quality time with Dan each week. His normal schedule is such that he's home with her on Mondays while I'm at work, then I'm with her on Saturdays while Dan's working.

Well, starting today they'll have a lot more quality time because Dan is officially on the unemployed roster. His position was eliminated a couple weeks ago, but they let him continue to work for a couple weeks and his last day was yesterday. To be honest, I'm a little jealous of the time they're now getting together, but I'm so glad that they get to continue forging their daddy-daughter bond.

We are, of course, hoping for a quick return to the workforce, but in the meantime I think both Dan and Emma will be better off for a little one-on-one time.

Is this thing on?

2012-01-17T23:07:00.000-08:00

Where does time go? I think it evaporates into something called "the past." Nevertheless, a lot has happened since Halloween. We had not one, but TWO birthday parties for our big TWO year old. She was full of great big "cheese" grins at her first party with our family.

Here's Emma with (from left to right) Dan's parents, Larry and Carolyn, my Grandma June (Emma's great-grandma), and my parents, Cindy and Mike. In the chair with Emma is her Great-Grandpa Harold (my grandpa). The one great-grandma who couldn't come still only lives five minutes away and Emma sees her every Tuesday. I'd say she's surrounded by more love than she'll ever know what to do with.

We toasted the evening with a tea party using her brand new tea set and Emma rang in her new year in style.

Her second party was with all of her little friends, and it was a superhero party. Literally, the night before the party I had about five BOOM, POW, ZAP signs printed out, and was at another friend's Christmas party when someone heard me talking about Emma's party the next day. She said that she just threw a superhero party for her husband and had all sorts of decorations that I could pick up the next day (the day of her party). So, I met this girl at 7pm on Friday, and at 8am Saturday I was at her house picking up all the superhero decorations I could ever want including the super rad cityscape below that people could "fly" over. All the kids except Emma thought it was so cool. She just cried every time I asked if she wanted to try it. Still, it was a success all thanks to Amy whose generosity made my daughter's whole birthday.

And, here's the final shot of the day. These two were wiped out by 6pm.

So, that's November and part of December in a tight little nutshell.

Happy Halloweener

2011-11-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

Emma was a very happy Halloweener yesterday. We started our festivities the day before Halloween because we're awesome and waited until the last minute to do any kind of celebrating and then showed up at the pumpkin patch with a dead battery in our camera so only got two pictures. Fortunately our camera phones came to the rescue so we didn't walk away totally empty handed.

Here's our little flying dino-lizard (in rain boots and froggy pajamas cuz it was after bed time when we arrived at said pumpkin patch due to daddy's work schedule).

And, here's Emma's trick-or-treating crew.

We started the night at a friend's house for pics and headed out to take the neighborhood by storm. At the first house, the guy answered the door with a scary mask on and screamed when he opened the door so Emma started crying...great start to the night. But, after the next few houses she had the whole "trick or treat" thing down and was pulling me to the doors instead of me carrying her. She ended up with a ton of loot that Dan and I get to eat. There's nothing like some cute kids to amp up the take home.

It was a great night with our dear friends and their darling little guys.

Remind me someday

2011-08-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

My sweet Emma,
You're 21 months old TODAY. That means the big 2 is just a few months away and I'm already feeling like I'm forgetting moments of your babyness that I promised myself I would remember forever. While I have little snippets on camera that I can look back on, nothing compares to the real moments experienced with you. Here are some things I don't want to forget...

- The first time I heard you sing yourself to sleep with "Jesus Loves Me" on our deep sea fishing trip earlier this year.
- How you say "Bless you" to yourself every time you sneeze (you also say it to us to when we sneeze, cough, or make any other noise besides speaking).
- When we say "I love you," you respond with "too" because you're a woman of few words and you know that we know what you mean.
- That the first book you asked me to read was "Brown Bear." I couldn't understand what you were saying at first and then you pointed to the book and kept saying "bunbay" which I then interpreted to mean "Brown Bear." Now you basically have it memorized.
- Every time I pick up my computer you ask to watch "Harry the Bunny" on Baby's First TV website (that's what grandpa lets you watch when you're at his house...such a treat), and you ask for Boos Poos, otherwise known as Blues Clues all.the.time.
- You love tomatoes and pick them off my plant when they're two days away from being perfect, but sit on your playhouse steps and eat it all with the seeds squirting everywhere. I guess if your guilty pleasure is a tomato off the vine then we're okay.
- You still crawl in the dog crates and close yourself in when I'm not looking.
- The main reason you like having stuffed animals in your crib when you fall asleep is so you can play with the tags, and if I hand it to you the wrong way you say "tag" until I turn it around.
- You love music and the other night when your dad was playing his guitar you went to the living room and got your own instrument (don't know what it's called, but it's from Africa) and started playing along with him all on your own.
- You think most little things that you pick up are "buggies" including watermelon seeds.
- I've caught you at least four times (so far) with a mouth full of dirt.
- You can put your alphabet puzzle together with one hand tied behind your back. We have not, in fact, tied your hand behind your back, but considering that you usually just use one hand to put it together anyways I'm pretty sure you could do it if the other one was tied behind you.
- Your friends in the church nursery say that you walk around the room like you own it, and you're always soooo happy to go play with the other kids.
- When I walk around our yard picking up dog poop you stop every three steps, point down and say poopy even if there's nothing there.
- There have been several times when you adamantly say something and we just don't understand. You're obviously much smarter than we are because you will learn our language so quickly and we will never learn yours.
- Your version of tickling is walking up to us and just poking our leg or foot. We don't tell you that it doesn't actually tickle because it's just so funny seeing you giggle and "tickle" us that we laugh out of sheer joy. You just walk up and say "tickle" and start laughing hysterically.
- Sometimes when we pray before dinner we ask you to pray and you just say "Jesus." That's the perfect prayer in my humble opinion.

Sweet girl, if you can't tell, there are so many things I don't want to forget and I'm sure so many things I already have forgotten. I want to savor every second with you knowing how fleeting this time is, and even though each moment can't be etched in my memory forever I know that every experience we have is building on the one prior so the end result will be one amazing person with memories of your own and fun stories to tell.

Love you tons,
Mommy

OC Fair 2012

2011-08-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

We have the distinct pleasure of living about five minutes away from our county fairgrounds, so we typically get the season pass and this year was no different. What was different, however, was the awesome kids area that they put together for the first time this year.

The theme this year was Eat, Live, Grow, and there was a whole section where Emma got to practice being a farmer (startin' 'er young).

Then, she took a lap on a tractor in her own tractor race (with a little help from dad).

Whaddayaknow...she got first place (good thing as she was the only competitor in a race we made up for her).

So, we had a ton of fun at the fair this year and even though we didn't get there as much as we would have liked (early bedtimes definitely derail the best laid fair plans), we can't wait for next year to see the new baby piggies, get the delicious grilled corn on the cob and the even more deeeelicious cinnamon rolls. Hopefully we can get by for another year or two before Emma realizes there are rides at the fair (we'll just tell her that they're really scary and dangerous and fall apart all the time), but she already has a monster sized Scooby Doo from last year's fair and her new fave, a cute little stuffed piggy, from this year thanks to Papa so we're out of luck in convincing her that the prizes for the games come to life and eat little kids at night. We'll just have to wait and see what she wins next year.

Recap of Aunt Becky's farewell

2011-08-23T18:00:00.001-07:00

Before my sister, Becky, left for Africa she organized a family farewell at my parent's ranch in the desert at the beginning of August. My parents go out there more than Dan and I, but we try to go a few times a year. This was Emma's second time, and she LOVED it.

She started by introducing her piggy and bunny to the "ranch dog" (the stuffed animal that my mom got from the carpet company when she placed her order...random, right?).

They all seemed to get along just fine which made Emma happy.

Then, we realized that this place isn't really baby proof and we're going to need to keep a close eye on our little one. With a wood burning stove, sharp corners on tile, and big logs lying around it could have been a recipe for disaster, but considering that Emma was basically surrounded 24/7 by somebody it all worked out.

She took Papa on a ride in Big Foot, the 6-wheeler, and she most certainly did it in style.

And then we got Onyx, our third dog, named after the town where he's from. Emma's just rollin' with her homey, but Onyx was a little unsure of the whole situation. He's adjusting just fine now, but he is definitely a puppy.

Some other things we did at the ranch were: swim in the kiddie pool, Emma "drove" my dad's truck along the driveway while he threw weeds in the back, we went to the river and even though the water was freezing cold she had a great time splashing away, had great family time with my sister, and we slept, and slept, and slept. Oh how I miss those long lazy naps. I guess if I could sleep like that all the time I wouldn't get sleep deprived enough to really appreciate those times when they come along.

And, oh yeah, Emma pooped and peed all in her pack-n-play after taking her diaper off, then climbed out of said pack-n-play (because who would want to hang out in their own poop) to wind up sitting bare bottomed in our room all while I thought she was taking a nap...oh the joy. At least she hasn't figured out how to climb out of her crib yet, but I'm sure that time is coming too.

A Saturday {Un}like any other

2011-08-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Saturdays as a family are a very rare and special treat since Dan's normal work schedule is Tuesday-Saturday. This gives him Mondays with Emma but leaves us only Sundays together as a full "party of three" day. When I found out that he had the opportunity to have Saturday off due to a schedule change with the other supervisor I was so excited just to have a normal Saturday with him. Initially we thought we'd do all sorts of "special" things, but what we really ended up with was the perfect blend of normal that made it so special.

Emma slept until 9a.m.-ish, which meant that we got to sleep until 9a.m.-ish. Then, the day started with some perfect hang time in the kitchen while Dan made his coffee and Emma sat on the counter eating a banana. It might be boring to some, but with church on Sunday mornings we don't actually get to just hang out on the one morning per week that we have together. Then we headed outside for some of this...

And some of this...

When Emma went down for her nap we decided to tackle a few projects that had been on the back burner, so we relocated all of my gardening supplies to the opposite side of the yard, and Dan got to hanging our surfboard rack in the garage AND fixing a side gate that was a little bent out of shape (so lucky to have a handy Dandy).

And then we went to not one, but two birthday parties that afternoon. Usually Emma and I fly the birthday circuit as a duo because Dan's at work, but this time he actually got to come with us. He even experienced Emma's first pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and her first hit of a pinata.

After making it home we were all stuffed full with Mexican food and monkey cupcakes so we put Emma to bed a little early and Dan and I totally cleaned up the side of our house and went to bed feeling extremely productive (and a little sore).

All in all it was a perfectly plain, ho-hum, nothing extraordinary kind of Saturday which made it all the more wonderful.

Emma the Pacivore

2011-08-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

Paci (pa-see) - noun-: short for pacifier; initially designed to satisfy a babies innate desire to suck; possible side effects include sleep, complete joy when paci is present, total and utter devastation including potential end-of-world situation when paci is absent or otherwise withheld.

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When Emma was born she wasn't super into the pacifier. We didn't offer one for the first few weeks, and even after that we tried to meet whatever other needs she might have before resorting to it because we didn't want her or us to become dependent on it (ha ha). Here she is, 20 1/2 months old and I know the day will come when we'll send her pacis off to the paci-fairy, but a this point we will only have two to send away. Wanna know why? Because I think my daughter is a hoarder. Oh yes, at our high point we had about six pacis (give or take one or two). Now we have one of those original pacis, have purchased three more since then of which we only have one new paci remaining. Even our emergency paci (like, "break glass in case of emergency" paci) is MIA.

My theory is that Emma has a little hoard of pacis that she is keeping in case of her own emergency...such as when we send her other two away to the paci deprived children serviced by the paci-fairy. Three separate times I have frantically searched her room, under her crib, her closet, her stack of stuffed animals, her diaper bag, only to turn around and see that she has one IN.HER.MOUTH! Where are these pacis coming from (and subsequently disappearing back to). I have thought several times about hot gluing a penny to the backside of all of them so that I can find them with our metal detector. A paci-GPS may also be an option...potentially a higher initial cost, but I think many paci-dependent parents would put up development money for such an invention.

Two other times I knew that I knew that I knew (you know, those times that you just KNOW) that she had a paci in her mouth when I put her in her crib and I took her out of her crib without a paci in her mouth. I searched the entire room only to find that the paci had landed on the top of the plug that is plugged into an electrical outlet between the bottom of her crib and the floor. I mean, is she putting it there intentionally so I'll find another one and she always has a spare in arm's reach?

So, when the time comes that we send our pacis away in a few months (I say "our" because they are as much for me as they are for Emma), I won't be surprised if we go through a couple rounds as Emma clears out her stash.

If only she just weaned herself off of them, it would be soooo much easier.

And there she goes again

2011-08-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

I had to make sure I got this up before next week when my favorite (and only, but that's irrelevant) sister leaves the country for almost an entire year. I don't know when she'll have internet where she's going, but she left this morning for Chicago for the week for prep before she leaves so hopefully she can catch this on her phone, but I wanted to put it up for everybody (i.e. the 3 people who follow the blog who don't even know her) to see.

Here's our attempt at a family pic from last night. It was just a touch past Emma's bedtime.

My awesome sister, Becky, is a missionary and has gone overseas for a year in the past, but this time she's heading to a place where we can't even tell people because of the danger to Christians. It's a heavily populated Islamic country where being vocally non-Muslim means potentially putting your life at risk. Of course, her team is being safe and is prepared with emergency evac procedures and contacts and such, but still.

She's been watching Emma for one day a week basically since I started back at work after E was born, and I can only hope some of Becky's courage and boldness have rubbed off on my little one. I certainly hope that Emma grows up with her aunt's sense of adventure, but most importantly her heart for God.

Sometimes I think that if it were up to me, I would just lock Emma up in her room until it was time for her to marry whoever we choose, have lots of babies (via immaculate conception, of course), and grow old and happy on a porch somewhere far away from any danger. I mean, our kids are our heart just walking around outside of our body, so the safer the better. Then, I look at my sister, and I hope that Emma grows up to be just like her...independent (to say the least), compassionate, adventurous, bold, courageous, beautiful, generous, and someone who puts God's will ahead of her own desires only to find that God's will is her desire.

Becky- if you actually are reading this I hope that your travels are safe and without complication, I pray that God allows miracles to happen through you and because of you, and that lives would be changed for eternity because of God's compassion and grace that is lived out through you. While I know that we'll see you on Skype (and know that I'm just working out the kinks of the whole babysitting-via-skype situation...just when she's sleeping, right?), it's just not the same. You already know the things that you'll miss by not being here, but we'll miss you too and I'm grateful that you're willing to make those sacrifices to follow where you know God has led. You're the person I wish I could have grown up to be, so I'll just live vicariously through Emma who still has a chance.

You may be just the inspiration I need to update this blog more frequently.

Love you sister!!

Okay, seriously!!

2011-08-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

Where have I been since my last post in JUNE?? Ugh, where to start. We've been without internet since we moved in April except for one square foot where we pick up the wifi from our neighbors (who happen to be my parents). So, I've been keeping my time online to what's absolutely necessary while sitting backwards on the couch with my computer in our bay window in that one square foot where I can sometimes pick up a signal, or what I can pick up on my phone. The blog didn't fall into either of those categories. Now I'm sitting comfortably in our recliner watching So You Think You Can Dance with a five-bar wifi connection and happy as a clam.

Since it's been a while, I'll start where I left off. First there was the Fourth of July. We had so much fun with various friends and family lighting fireworks on our street in front of our house like we've done every year since I was little (on the same street, just in front of the house next door now that we live right next to the house where I grew up). Emma was definitely more into the fireworks this year than she was last year.

She also had fun on her new tricycle in the dress that I made for her for our celebration. Don't get too excited though. It's just two bandanas sewn together. They're already hemmed so it was easy peasy lemon squeezy. I cut some off the top to make it shorter while still leaving the bottom hem in tact and used the extra fabric as straps, then I used this awesome elastic thread around my bobbin and sewed 12ish rows to make it all elasticky on the top.

Emma had some fun finger painting (and maybe a little tongue painting?). I figured I'd forget trying to find a smock (aka. one of Dan's t-shirts) and just let her paint right before bath time. It worked out and that newspaper will be worth some money someday.

We also got some photos (like 2,000) scanned using a couple Groupons so now we have electronic record of all sorts of things including our wedding since digital wasn't quite the fad it is today. I might need to do some color adjustment, but here's a picture from our wedding {sigh}. As I look back at all the wedding pictures I notice everything I'd do differently if my wedding were today, but the one thing that wouldn't change is the guy.

And here are some pictures of Dan and I when we were about Emma's age so you can decide who she looks more like. Thoughts? Realistically I should probably put up pics of some other family members too because there are resemblances to all of us. Now that the pics are scanned I have some seriously awesome blackmail material, but since my family all has copies of the same photo disc I need to harness my power and pull out the big guns only when absolutely necessary. The day will come but it's not today.

Now that I'm reconnected hopefully I'll be able to get on here more frequently. No guarantees though (I'm under-promising with the hopes to over-deliver).

10 years!

2011-06-30T16:29:00.000-07:00

Last week Dan and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and it was awesome! We alternate the event planning, so I plan the odd years' celebrations and he does even years. It works well for us, and then we never really have to go through the "what-do-you-want-to-do", "i-don't-know-what-do-you-want-to-do" conversation which inevitably leads down a path of total self-destruction.

He told me to be home by 5:30, so I left work a little early to pick Emma up and while I was on the way to get her he called and said that he was picking her up instead so I could just go home and start getting ready (1 point for Dan). We both got home and he took Emma next door because he had already made plans for my parents to watch her while we were out (2 points).

We headed out to dinner and he pulled into the parking lot of this cheap place we go all the time (huh?). So, he parked knowing that I was looking a little confused but going along with it, then, only after we were both out of the car did he tell me he was kidding. We got back in the car and carried on. After parking at the beach we walked around to a little Italian place we went on either our first or second anniversary, Il Farro. We walked in and on the table was a H.U.G.E. arrangement of the most beautiful flowers.

Dan actually has a co-worker who loves doing flower arrangements on the side, so she put this whole thing together for me along with a smaller bouquet in front of my seat, and had it delivered along with candles. He sent her pictures of our wedding so she could pick out the flowers that we used, and she used the same ones in this massive arrangement.

We had a lovely dinner of yummy bruschetta and spinach gnocchi that was sooooo good, and finished it off with canoli that reminded me of our trip to Italy a few years back. As we were walking out we actually got a round of applause from another table. They were obviously as impressed with Dan's planning skills as I was. Since we were at the beach, we walked around for a little longer before stopping at the store for milk on our way home.

The floral foam that the arrangement was in broke when we got home, but we pulled out all the flowers and it made seven different arrangements that we set around our house for decoration. There were more flowers in that arrangement than I currently have in my garden.

It was an awesome way to celebrate 10 years with the best man for me and the best dad for Emma. Realistically, 10 years is just a drop in the bucket, but still worth celebrating. We have a lot of great years left together and now it's time to up my game. Next year it's my turn.

Some pics to make up for my pic-less-ness mess

2011-06-20T23:24:00.000-07:00

Since my most recent post was full of ramblings with no cute pictures of my sweetness. Here are some fun things we've done recently. There are 21 pictures here (I'm a woman of extremes...what can I say).

Here she is in some super-fly jeggings and just overall cutie pie.

Riding in cars with boys already.

We don't get too many family pictures, but here's one of us at the park.

Moving, moving, and more moving.

Easter Eggstravaganza at church.

Emma and I at a baby shower in Arizona last month.

Our Arizona friends with Emma.

Emma L.O.V.E.D. the aquarium we visited after we got back from Arizona.

The aquarium was at the end of the pier at Manhattan Beach. SoCal is SoAwesome!

FAMILY CAMP with our church. Yes, we tent camped with our 18 month old and there were other families with even younger ones. It rained the first night and the second morning, but we had a blast.

Emma couldn't get enough of the beach. She loved the water, sand, and sun.

Another family pic on the porch of our new abode.

We had some visitors for a couple weeks...Emma's cousins and their parents stayed with us on their visit from North Carolina. Don't you love the matching dresses that Emma and her cousin got? I'm a fan of Emma's piggies.

Just a little something I made for a friend's kid's birthday. I named him Clyve.

Go Angels!!

My own little angel.

Planting ~~sticks~~ trees with her Papa Mike and great-grandma Vi. I guess those trees will grow into something.

Emma with daddy and Papa.

Lest you think she always has a smile on her face.

Happy Father's Day to the two best dads in the world!

Where to begin!

2011-06-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

So, it's obviously been a while since I've provided an update, but my-oh-my how time flies. Now that Emma is almost 19 months old (WHAT??!!) she's talking, running, climbing, singing, imagining, loving, kissing, hugging, ~~tantruming~~ expressing, "please"ing and "thank you"ing. I'm in constant awe of how quickly she learns and how much she understands. Yesterday was Father's Day and I can't begin to describe how grateful I am for Dan as a partner in parenting and life. He loves her in amazing ways and knows that she loves him even though she's in a no-kissing-daddy phase. To hear her laughter from the other room because the tickle monster momentarily inhabited daddy's body, or shrieks and giggles as he chases her down the hall is the most wonderful sound in the world.

She also just started singing recognizable songs the other day, so now she can sing the first part of the alphabet song (she gets through C really easily but it's a little rough through G at which point she starts over). My bedtime song for her is "Jesus Loves Me" and when we were deep sea fishing on Saturday I heard her singing to herself as she was starting to take a nap. I listened more closely to hear her singing the first part of that song, "Jesus loves me, this I know." That was as far as she got, over, and over, and over, and it was the most beautiful song I've ever heard in my life. It sounds more like, "eezus ubs e isss i noo" but it's very recognizable. She makes me realize more and more everyday that it's not doing the big things one time that make as big of a difference as doing the small things all the time. I'm sure that won't be the last thing she helps me learn.

Between January and today we moved in right next door to Emma's grandma and papa (next to the house I grew up in) and it's fabulous. We have a huge yard for our dogs, a swing set for Emma, and a playhouse for all of us (a 10'x10' separate house in the backyard with electricity, carpet, windows...perfect for all of our toys - my craft stuff, Dan's music stuff, and Emma's play stuff).

She is loving it, and everything worked out so smoothly in our move. We're still unpacking here and there and don't have much up on the walls yet, but I guess we're having too much fun blowing bubbles in the backyard to care.

I could fill in the blanks with the sweet intricacies of our days and all the stats of her growing up, but instead I'll focus on her loose elbow that has prompted a couple urgent care visits and one ER visit. It started a few months ago when we were walking down some stairs and she missed a stair while I was holding her hand. There she was hanging by her hand, swinging a little while I put her down on the next stair. I would have thought "no harm done...glad I was holding her hand" except that she started crying right away and was not using her arm anymore. I held her for a bit and thought ~~I broke her~~ that maybe we would get some lunch and she could calm down. She stopped crying but was still not using her arm, and since it was Saturday we had to go to urgent care as her ped's office closes at noon on Saturday.

We headed over and the doctor knew right what it was...nursemaid's elbow. It's when a little tendon in the elbow pops out and has to be popped back in - easier said than done. He tried the first time and it didn't pop but he said to give it a few minutes and see if she starts using her arm again. Not only was she not using her arm, she was continuing to cry and wince with pain putting a dagger through my heart. He came back in and tried one more time and suddenly it was like she had never had pain at all. She started using it right away, the crying stopped, and she was happy as could be. The doctor said that some kids have chronic nursemaid's elbow and he had one patient that got it so frequently that he showed the parents how to fix it. "Surely that wouldn't be us," I thought a bit smugly (insert canned laughter).

Two weeks later, Dan and I were walking out of dinner towards the car and each one of us was holding one of her hands. She leaned forward and back as kids sometimes do just having fun and there it was again...a look of "mommy/daddy, why did you just cause me excruciating pain" (dagger). She stopped using her arm and I knew exactly what it was. This time, though, the urgent care was closed (it was a late dinner) and the only place we could go was the ER. 4 hours, 1 x-ray, and $457 later (compared to the $20 copay we pay at urgent care...oh ER such a rip off) her elbow wasn't even fixed but we took her home and went to her ped's office the next day where they popped it back in successfully. Shouldn't I get my money back when the ER doc can't fix her? I would have been better off just staying at home - I digress.

And then, another two or three weeks later I picked her up from daycare and she was happy as a clam. I put her in her car seat and she was fine. When I went to take her out of her car seat at dinner, she started crying and her arm was no longer moving. I think it actually just fell out on it's own and I've considered more than once getting some duct tape to keep her in tact. Off to urgent care we went, and when we got to the one that was close to where we were the doctor ASKED ME what the treatment was for it. Um, well, since I have my M.D. (Mother's Doctorate) I told her that it needs to be popped back into place. She gave me a blank stare like I just spoke another language, and she said that they didn't do that there. Off to urgent care #2 (after confirming that they do it there) and the doctor fixed it and asked if I wanted to learn how. I was now in the league of parents who has a child with chronic nursemaid's elbow. He said that it happened to his son 6 times! She got all fixed up and it hasn't happened since (everybody reading this please knock on some nearby wood for me), but now if it does I'm appropriately armed with enough knowledge to either fix it or make it worse...yeah for me.

That's really the most exciting thing that's happened in the past few months (aside from the move, having four house guests for 13 days, getting my wallet stolen, and probably a whole slew of things that I had intended to memorialize here). And yet, life carries on.

Hopefully I'll be able to get something up (including some pictures...hullo, Lame Mom Awards given nightly) within the next 6 months, but if not: Happy 4th of July, yippee for Labor Day, Happy Thanksgiving, and Merry Christmas. I'm covered until New Years now. See you on the flip side.

Retired old man alert...oh wait, that's Emma

2011-01-07T23:37:00.000-08:00

Emma has been a big help with chores lately. Just the other night she helped Dan unload the dishwasher, but I don't know if she'll ever forgive me for dressing her like an 80 year old on the Florida coast, as unintentional as it was (notice the black socks).

The sweet little thing below will never get mistaken for anything other than the cutest girl on the planet. We were at Wahoo's and just for fun I did a little tilt of my head and said, "ooohhh," and then to our surprise Emma did the same thing right back, "ooohhh" and all.

We kept doing it and she kept doing it, then we'd raise our hands and she would raise hers, then we would tilt our head and she would tilt hers. It was so fun, and it made us realize how much of an influence we already have over her (as if we didn't already know it). Time to watch our p's and q's :-)

Another Christmas down (lots of pics)

2011-01-03T23:58:00.000-08:00

Emma's second Christmas was gangbuster and she doesn't even know how excited she is about the fun things she got from adoring grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles. We started on Christmas Eve with a "knock your socks off" version of "Grandma's Attic" and then the kids opened up their gifts.

Emma got the coolest little car race track, an Elmo airplane (with critical underseat storage) AND a talking rocking horse.

Then we carried on an annual tradition at Grandma and Grandpa Ellis's by opening up one present on Christmas Eve. Here's our sweetest Christmas Eve darling...

By that time she was so dog tired that we high tailed it home for a quick rendition of "T'was the Night Before Christmas," put her down to sweet dreams and visions of sugar plums dancing in her head, stuffed the stockings that were hung by the chimney (aka our skylight) with care, and went to sleep so Santa could do his thing.

Before Santa's visit (notice the disproportioned construction paper ornament from Emma to daddy mentioned in the previous "Pretend City" post) :

And after Jolly Old Saint Nick stopped by...

When we woke up Christmas morning, Emma was ready to tear into her presents and didn't waste any time. Of course, we started with our family tradition of reading the Christmas story from Luke to remind us what Christmas is really about, then Emma opened her few gifts. We went low key this year anticipating an onslaught of gifts from others (and we guessed right).

After Christmas morning at our house, we headed to Grandpa and Grandma Ellis's house to continue the fun. She got this rockin' leopard print coat contributing to her serious swagger style.

Grandpa and Grandma Sumner also came by to celebrate with the awesomeness that is ooey-gooey coffee cake.

Here she is enjoying her Elmo plane...

Here's her ball pit, and the play tent in the corner (right next to the ball pit), and the rocker girl that makes her rocker daddy super proud...

Here's a repeat of the talking rocking horse, but notice the perfect form. And, let's talk about that dismount. I mean, really!!

Christmas was so fun. Time with family, irreplaceable time with my sweet baby, and lots and lots of rain made Christmas 2010 one for the books.

Pretend City

2011-01-02T23:57:00.000-08:00

Over the holidays, Emma and I had some fun extra time together so one afternoon I took her someplace I know she's just been dying to go (okay, really I've been dying to take her there and she had no idea it even existed but she loved it when we got there). Last year I noticed a new children's museum open up literally 5 minutes from our house. It's called Pretend City and I couldn't wait until Emma was at least old enough to take in some of it's awesomeness even if she was too young to really "get it." So, last week after her nap I decided it was the day to give it a try. I was thinking that an annual pass would be a fun Christmas present for her, but didn't want to get it until we had at least been inside once!

Well, we got there and it was INCREDIBLE!! It really is like a little city inside with a grocery store, garden, fire house, restaurant, beach, stage, town center, and more.

Emma arrived via her BMW convertible (just like mom)...

Then headed over to the gas station to fill up her Hummer...

Before proceeding to the pond for a round of (attempted) fishing...

Then, it was time for work cleaning up at the restaurant...

Before her on-stage debut as the center of her universe...

And, after a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up some mustard...

It was time to check out the boys and cruise out of town in her Little Tyke's car.

Needless to say, she literally conked out on the 5 minute car ride home and we both had fun. She even had time to stop on the way out and make a very original construction paper Christmas tree ornament for daddy which I'm sure he will just cherish until the end of time.

I can't wait to do it again with her, and I'm sensing an annual pass in our very near future.

Happy Birthday Emma!!

2010-11-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

(Ignore the fact that this is posted a few weeks late...it was started on or before Emma's actual birthday)

Dear Emma,

You are a whole year old as of today and I'm still wondering where the year went. You're walking, talking (more like chattering, but it's sooo cute to hear you babble), laughing, and you definitely have opinions about things. You're eating some big girl food and really love your cheese, but fortunately you still like your pureed veggies too. You really love applesauce and bananas, and we have to remind you to put things in your mouth one at a time because you usually grab handfuls of cheerios and goldfish and see how many you can fit in your mouth at one time.

Life's been a bit crazy for us lately, but that's something that you'll get used to around here. I will say, it's weird that in one year someone can go from this:

To this:

We had a fun Halloween where you dressed up like a lion and convinced your dad and I to dress up too. He was a safari tour guide and I was a tourist on safari when we spotted you, our little lion. You sure have a roar that fit the costume.

Your first birthday party on 11/21 was super fun with all your little buddies celebrating with you. At first, you were a little confused by the frosting on top of your cupcake.

But you figured it out soon enough.

We had fun celebrating with you even though you were a little overwhelmed by all the attention. You did great and were lucky enough to have all your grandparents there and even some of your great-grandparents.

On your actual birthday, daddy took you out to breakfast carrying on an annual tradition that your grandpa started with me on my first birthday. Here's you with dad on your first annual birthday breakfast. This year's birthday breakfast was at Starbucks, and I can't get over the cutest smile ever!! I think you were enjoying your small piece of daddy's vanilla scone.

That night Grandpa Mike came over and took you shopping. You got some very cute clothes and a fun puzzle that makes noises when you put the pieces in.

Happy birthday sweet baby. We love you and can't wait to see what this year holds!

Love you,

Mommy

10.2 months

2010-10-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

Emma,

As your first birthday approaches faster than I can believe, you continue to amaze me by how quickly you're growing and learning. You are so close to taking those momentous first steps which will forever change your life and ours, and you are so full of expression and joy. You make everybody happy who sees you, even though you drop that lower lip sometimes for reasons I can't completely understand.

We've done all sorts of fun things over the past couple months.

The fair...you liked the piggies the best.

Labor day at Grandma and Grandpa's ranch with a trip to the (ice cold) river. We tried dipping your little toe in, but you were having none of it.

Your first trip to Knott's Berry Farm...you even got to ride on the Calico Express!

We also took you to the pool on a very hot day, but you were a bit sleepy and weren't having too much fun. I know the day will come when you won't be able to get enough of it.

Life has been a bit chaotic lately for your dad and I because I'm working two part-time jobs and you are with someone different everyday. I think it's actually made you more flexible, and I know that the people watching you absolutely love and look forward to the time they get to spend with you. They also all comment at how great of an eater you are; and, with homemade baby food combos of squash and broccoli, cauliflower and peas, or carrots and zucchini picked fresh from your great-grandma and great-grandpa's garden I can understand why. You also eat a whole variety of grains...quinoa, amarynth, millet, barley, and oats (some of which I didn't even know existed until recently), all topped with a bit of flaxseed and brewer's yeast for extra goodness. You feed yourself bits of cheese, banana, nectarine, strawberries, cheerios, and anything else we put in front of you. We are very lucky that you're not picky.

You get so happy when you see daddy come home from work, and you crawl so fast to get to him. It's so cute hearing your little squeal of joy when you see him come around the corner into the living room. He loves you so much and does anything he can to get you laughing. It's music to our ears. Speaking of music, you're quite the musician yourself. You love when daddy plays his guitar for you and you even strum the strings from time to time. You also love the little drum in your room and have figured out where you need to pound to get the best sound.

We know that God has such an amazing plan for your life and we're just excited that we get to be a part of it.

Love,

Mommy

Ocho

2010-08-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hola Emma,

You're a little more than eight months old and we are having so much fun with you! It's amazing how much you're learning and how quickly you're learning it all. We got a kid's English/Spanish Bible and we hope that you grow up with a love and understanding of God's word and all of the people and cultures that are part of His creation. You are crawling like crazy and just tonight daddy said that you're crawling even faster than you were just a couple days ago. Not only are you crawling, but you're pulling yourself up on everything you can get your hands on...the couch, your toy box, your crib, daddy's guitar (while he's playing it). He said that we won't be able to hold you down and I have a feeling that will be true from now on.

We love the funny faces you make, and here's just one example.

It's amazing to us how detail focused you are. Other babies might be the same way, but you love the little tags on your stuffed animals more than the animals themselves, and you pick up the smallest things from the floor even when it looks clean to us. I can see you pondering at times and wonder what you're thinking. Sometimes you try to tell us, but it will be a little bit longer until we can really understand. We love it when you start talking and whispering and singing to yourself.

You're a social butterfly and bring so much joy to people around you. Your grandpa says that's your ministry right now and I agree. Everybody who sees you smiles and I love seeing your joy radiate to other people already. You have two darling dimples, and while I'm sure there are more teeth on the way you just have a two-toothed grin that's absolutely precious. Those teeth have come more and more in handy as you are eating more solid food.

Here's you at this year's OC Fair. Looks like you're having fun!!

You've also done quite a bit of traveling in your short eight months, and last weekend you were a trooper as I took you to Indiana for the weekend to see Auntie Leah and Garrett get married. You did great on the red-eye flight Friday night and survived the heat of Indiana during the wedding before heading back Sunday afternoon. It was a quick trip but it was so fun to be part of such a special day.

You are so patient with us (unless you're hungry...you get that from your dad), and you have developed a ticklish streak and absolutely laugh your little head off when we get close to your feet or zerbert your tummy. There is nothing we love to hear more than your pure, boisterous belly laugh. It's music to our ears. We're so thankful to be your mommy and daddy and want nothing more than for you to grow up fulfilling God's purpose for your life at every age.

Love, love, love,

Mommy

North Carolina

2010-08-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

Our Wisconsin travel adventures didn't stop after we arrived in WI. When we were leaving to go to North Carolina we got to the airport and our flight was seriously delayed. We would have missed our connection from Chicago to North Carolina if we had waited, so the gate agent suggested we take the bus. Now, she saw that we had a baby and all of our luggage trailing behind..."the bus?" I asked. She said that it only takes about an hour an a half on the bus from Milwaukee to Chicago, and they would give us our money back for the plane ticket, and the bus tickets were less than half that.

So, we trekked back through the airport and waited at the bus stop along with some other passengers who decided to do the same thing and after a little while the bus arrived.

At that point, we thought "what else could go wrong?" Well, the story continues. Because we were running late already the gate agent booked us on two flights...the one we were originally supposed to be on to North Carolina and a later one. By the time we got to Chicago we were definitely too late for the earlier flight, so we checked in and got in line at security (after asking an employee if the ticket we had would work for Emma). When we got to the front of the security line the agent said that she needed her own boarding pass. We told him that someone else said she would be fine, but he said no. Fortunately, the supervisor was right there and he took us up to the ticket counter and told us we could go right back to the front of the line when we got Emma's boarding pass.

We looked at the departing flight information and it said we'd be departing from a particular gate. So, we went to that gate, then decided to get some dinner. After dinner we walked back to the gate and went up to the counter when we realized that our boarding passes didn't have the seats assigned yet. The agent printed the actual boarding passes (and saw that we were going to NC) and didn't tell us that the gate had been changed. It was getting closer and closer to the time we were supposed to be leaving but our flight information wasn't showing up at the gate now. But, it was one of those gates where four flights leave out of the same jetway onto the tarmac, so we just figured another one had been delayed and ours would be up soon. After the agent saw that we had been standing there for over 10 minutes, she gets on the loud speaker and says that the gate had changed for the Greensboro flight and it was now leaving from a gate right next to where we had eaten dinner. We ran to that gate and were the very last people to board, which meant that we didn't have seats together and no one offered to switch so I was feeding Emma on this puddle jumper next to a very tall man in a very crowded seat. At least we made it on the plane, but it wasn't the most convenient thing.

Then, finally, we made it to North Carolina. Our first day there we headed over to Brenda's where all the kids (including Emma) hung out in the pool for a little while.

Here are all the cousins for their first group shot.

We went on a beautiful hike to Stone Mountain...

And walked around the homesteaders cabins which all the kids loved.

Then we went to Moravian Falls (where we got kicked out because apparently you have to pay $1 per person even to have your own picnic!), and from there headed up to Apple Hill to have lunch.

We did so many great things while we were there, but the funnest part was seeing Dan's family and all the kids. We only wish we could do it more often!!

Wisconsin memories, Pt. 3

2010-08-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

The real reason we went to Wisconsin was to attend Dan's family reunion and his Grandma Edna's 95th birthday. It was so fun meeting his extended family and letting them meet Emma. It was even more special to us that Dan's grandma got to meet Emma!

This was the very first meeting (Emma was not in a very photographical mood).

And here's all of us when she's a bit happier.

Here are Edna's grandkids.

And, the great grandkids.

It was an incredibly special day for us, and while Emma won't remember those moments I'm so thankful that we were there.

From there, we were off to North Carolina to see Dan's sisters and their families for another fun adventure.

Wisconsin memories, Pt. 2

2010-08-02T00:04:00.000-07:00

After we landed in Wisconsin, we started the trek to Lacrosse with a shopping detour and some lunch on the way. We also took a side trip to the Wisconsin state capital building which was pretty astounding as far as capital buildings go.

After that little detour and beautiful drive we headed to meet Dan's family at a pizza place near their town. It was so great meeting his family and letting them meet Emma. Dan's cousin's daughter, Cassie, was a great friend to Emma during dinner and the reunion the next day. We also found out that we're related to a family at our church through Dan's cousin's wife, Sandy. Our family just keeps expanding.

We spent the next morning with Dan's cousin, Kevin, and Kevin's wife Vicky, and they took us on a tour of the town then to an area with a great view.

From there, we headed to Grandma Edna's 95th birthday party/Sumner family reunion.

Wisconsin memories, Pt. 1

2010-08-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

We had planned a trip to Wisconsin and North Carolina in June to visit Dan's family. His Grandma Edna was turning 95, so there was a family reunion in Wisconsin to celebrate, and from there we figured we might as well visit his sisters and their families in North Carolina since we had never been there.

What a trip it was. It started on June 11 with a call at 6:30am that our flight had been cancelled. That caused some angst in coordinating our other arrangements for a rental car and accommodations, but we worked it out and were on our way. We got to the airport and our flight was slightly delayed, but we made it through security relatively unscathed (and with all of Emma's stuff that was no small feat) and made it to our gate.

Emma was very excited to be on her first plane ride.

We got to our layover in Dallas with time for dinner, and that turned into a plane delay, and another delay, and another. It got to the point where we weren't even going to arrive in Wisconsin until 2ish in the morning with a two hour drive to our final destination (and we wouldn't have even been able to get our rental car that late/early). We took the airline up on their offer to put us up in a hotel for the night, and book us on a flight for the next morning. Well, that meant getting to the hotel at 11pm, to sleep at midnight, and up at 4am to catch the 4:30am shuttle for a 6:30am flight. Emma was a trooper through it all but I think this picture shows how we were all feeling by that point.

If that weren't enough, when we got to the airport the next morning, we realized that they hadn't printed Emma's boarding pass the night before when they rebooked us so we had to wait until the ticketing agents started working to get her ticket. But, at least our plane left on time and she slept the entire time (from before takeoff to after landing), and we landed in Wisconsin ready for an adventure.

13 months come and gone

2010-06-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

Just kidding!! This is just a semi-combined 6 month and 7 month letter to my sweet girl on her 7 month birthday.

Here's us celebrating your 6 month birthday at Wahoo's, which was also your first outing at 3 days old.

And here is my joy-filled sweetheart so excited to be all growed up at 7 months old, sitting up on your own and teaching your toy who's boss.

So much has happened since you were 5 months old. It's amazing how quickly you're changing! Your dad and I get the joy of seeing you every day, so sometimes we forget how much you're growing until someone sees you who hasn't seen you in a while and reminds us how big you are. But, there are moments when I watch you sleeping so peacefully and you're starting to look more and more like my little girl and less like a little baby.

In May, you took your first trip out of the state of California when we went to Nevada to see your Aunt Pamela graduate from college. As you can see, you drove the whole way.

In your sixth month, you started pushing up on your hands and toes (not your knees). This strengthened your mini-muscles to get stronger for eventual crawling and was also a very cute sight with your little bum sticking up in the air while you're on all fours.

You're still not crawling, but you have found ways to move around and get to what you want (with a very determined look on your face, no less). You push up and then plop down a few inches forward, roll from one side to the next, or just str-e-e-e-e-tch as far as you can to get what you're after. If you can't quite reach you know now how to get our attention to help you out with a little grunt. You weren't doing that a month ago.

On the eve of your six month birthday we introduced you to solid food with some pureed brown rice. You couldn't get enough and we had so much fun being part of this new experience with you.

And, here you are tonight at 7 months old enjoying zucchini, barley, and flax seed...yummy.

Since you started on solid food, you've had asparagus, avocado, zucchini, barley, apple sauce and cranberry juice, and you love it all. It's so cute seeing your mouth zone in on the spoon and then chomp down on it with such gusto. Lately you've also been grabbing the spoon and helping me feed you from time to time. You're not ready to go for it on your own, but you'll be there soon.

This month was very exciting for you for a lot of reasons. You went on your first plane ride, your first bus ride, met your great-grandma Edna and lots of great aunts and great uncles in Wisconsin, and got to see your aunts, uncles, and cousins in North Carolina. Everybody commented on how sweet and happy you are. They are all so right!

While we were in North Carolina we also celebrated your daddy's first Father's Day with your first tooth breaking through! We celebrated with a trip to Walmart, and made sweet and sour meatballs for everybody. The night ended with a bonfire in the backyard. I know your dad is so happy to have you as his little girl, and he's looking forward to many more Father's Days celebrating being your dad. A few days after that your dad and I also celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary! That's right, we've been married THAT long, and this year we celebrated with you. It's so fun getting to experience so many firsts all thanks to you being part of our lives now.

You are about a minute away from being mobile, so we lowered the mattress in your crib today so you don't try your first gymnastics move to flip out of your crib. It's just another reminder that things are changing all the time, and all the little clothes that we thought would always be too big for you are now being stored because they're too small. You love your sippy cup and you're sitting up and moving around like you've been doing it forever. I'm convinced that you say "mama" all the time, but your dad thinks that he's heard you say "dada." I'll just know that you said "mama" first :-)

My dear, we won't know what kind of parents we've been until you have kids of your own, but we're doing the very best we can and you make it super easy to be your parents. We love you so much and we always will.

Love you,

Mommy and Daddy

My first Mother's Day as a mom

2010-05-09T23:20:00.000-07:00

I'm so thankful to my wonderful husband and daughter for the best first Mother's Day EVER. Dan made a cute shirt for Emma to wear that said "Happy First Mommy Day" and I get to choose a little something from a store that goes by the name Tiffany and Co. (I had to catch my breath when he told me). The day started this morning at church when my mom, grandma, Emma, and I were all asked to do the announcements together. After we finished giving all of the information to the congregation our pastor came up and asked us to each share something special about our moms. So, Emma ate the microphone which translates into her saying that she loves my snugs and kisses, then I said what I love about my mom, my mom said what she loves about her mom, and my grandma said what was special about her mom. It showed me what a legacy of Christ we have in our family and the prayers that have been poured into our family from the moms that have come before me. We went to lunch with the fam and then went home and took a nap before our Mother's Day dinner at Wahoo's with dessert at Yogurtland (a perfect night).

Thank you Dan and Emma for a wonderful day celebrating our family. I wouldn't be a mom without both of you and my heart overflows with love for you.

5 months

2010-05-05T23:02:00.001-07:00

Well Emma, I'm starting to slip on the timeliness of posting your monthly letters here, but it's only because you're keeping us so busy. You have an active social life, and a waiting list of people wanting to see you and spend time with you. We hold them off for as long as we can, but there's no getting between you and your grandmas and grandpas. There are SO many people who love you so much, and we're grateful to have them all in your life.

Your most recent accomplishments have been some serious attempts at scooting, laughter like we've never heard, and recognizing us from across the room. You're sleeping more at night, and starting to get on a bit of a schedule. We love seeing your big smiles and pretty soon that smile will include a tooth or two, but there are none yet. Even the dogs have captured your attention. Bath time is more and more fun now that you're almost sitting up on your own and playing with your rubby ducky. I see more bath toys in your future.

You also introduced your feet to your mouth, and you suck on your teeny toes every chance you get...in your carseat, on the changing table, on the floor, getting ready for the bath, in the crib. It is so incredibly cute to see you so focused on getting your toes in your mouth.

The taste of sweet success...

That determination will serve you well as you continue on the path to crawling and eventually walking. You're making more noises every day, and I even captured you saying "mama" for the first time on video but daddy says that I was just hearing things.

You are learning new things every day and growing faster than we can keep up (we just cleared out a whole load of clothes that you've already outgrown). Pretty soon you'll start eating solid food, and in a couple months we'll see if the vegetables I planted in our garden will grow into anything edible. But with all of those new, exciting changes come their own set of challenges. We're just taking it one day at a time and enjoying every minute.

We love you Emma!

Mommy and Daddy

Meant to be a DAD!

2010-04-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

I can honestly say that I was meant to be a Dad. Every time I see the joy in her little face, hear her little laugh and feel her little hand in mine I can't help but think I have been blessed beyond measure. I am so glad to have her here with Jenny and me. I can't wait for her crawls, laughs, steps and words. The fact that Jenny and I get to raise Em's into a great girl, lady, and woman of God is so heavy that it's hard to even know what the next step should be. All I know is that I have the opportunity of a life time. I'm grateful for every moment and I'm thankful for all that's to come. For now I'm just taking it one day at a time.

~Dan

PREGNANT!!!

2010-04-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

Exactly one year ago today, I met Emma as a faint little blue line on a plastic stick.

And, here she is today wearing the onesie Dan got for me two Christmas's ago when we were struggling with getting pregnant.

God is SO amazing!

1/3 of a year

2010-03-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, Emma, I think this is going to be the last time that I say how fast time is flying by. It's not that time is slowing down at all, but it's never going to so I just have to get used to it. I'll indulge myself on birthdays and major milestones (first day of preschool, high school graduation, wedding, and maybe a couple more) but you won't see it written here every month anymore.

You're four months old today, and so much has happened this month. I started back at work after being off with you for the first 14 weeks of your life which meant that you started day care. It's been kind of a mish-mosh but so far so good. Each week you get to spend time with daddy, Grandpa Mike, Great-grandma June, Aunt Becky, and Joan's daycare. Like I said, it's a patchwork but daddy and I are so thankful for all the people who love you and look forward to spending time with you. You've handled it like a champ and have definitely settled into your groove. And, after this week you and I will have more time to spend together because I'll be back home with you during the day for a little while until I find another job. I can't wait!!

This month, you also started rolling over! Not just from your tummy to your back, but also from your back to your tummy. It's so fun seeing the look on your face when you flip-flop. I can tell that you're so proud of yourself and we're so proud of you too. Our faces light up when we see you smile and they really light up when we wake up in the morning and realize that you slept through the night. Although, lately you've been waking up in a completely different position than how we laid you down.

For example, a couple days ago I laid you in your crib like this at bed time.

And when you woke up in the morning you were like this.

Now I know why cribs are so important. If you can move like that with all of your limbs in the swaddle, we're in for a treat when you start coordinating the use of your arms and legs.

You're also falling into much more of a routine and that's helping you sleep longer at night. Lately you've been going to sleep around 9pm and waking up between 5-6am. I'm hoping that you get a good night's sleep tonight too because tomorrow is your four month doctor's appointment. I know your doctor will say how much you've grown and how perfect you are.

I can't believe how much fun it is to be your mom. Your dad and I both love you and are excited to see you grow up. I'm sure that within a couple months you'll be crawling around and once you start walking we'll talk about rent. You'll basically be grown up by then, so it will be time to start treating you like a grown up.

The world is your oyster my sweet girl...open with reckless abandon!!

Love,

Mommy

I Give Up

2010-03-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

It's true, I give up. I don't know how it happened so fast (and I certainly wasn't expecting it so soon), but I'm tossing up my arms in surrender. My 15 week old daughter is totally ignoring my very clear direction to save all of her "firsts" for either Dan or myself. If she's this defiant already then I'm throwing in the towel.

I made this decision yesterday when I dropped Miss E off at my parent's house for the evening. We were playing with Emma on the floor when my dad said how cute it was that she rolled over last week (insert sound of anything...record, car, anything coming to a screeching halt). "WHAT?!?!? She rolled over?" I couldn't believe my ears. I, her mother, didn't even know that she had reached this significant (albeit taken for granted and quickly forgotten) milestone. How can this be? My dad said that he figured that she had already done it because as soon as he put her on her tummy with her arms under her chest she pushed (maybe fell) onto her back. I told him that she hadn't done that for us yet, so we spent the next 30 minutes completely entertained by watching Emma roll onto her back.

At first I was almost hurt. Not because my dad didn't tell me, but because I realized that this likely won't be the only "first" that we miss. I carried her for 9 months and birthed her into this crazy world, so doesn't she know that I'm entitled to it? I earned it, for goodness sake. But, with Dan and I both working, it's inevitable that other people may actually be the ones to see her take her first steps or hear her first words. Part of that realization does send a twinge of guilt through me, but it makes me more grateful for the people caring for her who can encourage her, along with us, to continue growing.

I don't want Emma to ever feel like she has to wait for us to be ready for her to grow up (because that will never happen). I want her to have a healthy confidence in herself and trust her instincts, and if we're not there when she's ready to take her first step then so be it. We will always be her biggest cheerleaders whether or not we're with her. She never has to impress us because we already love her with a deeper love than I thought possible. We want her to be successful at whatever she puts her mind to, and as long as she knows that we've always got her back then I'm happy. So, I give up thinking that I have to be the most important person in her life. Our job as her parents is to help her grow up so she can move out.

So, keep rolling over sweet girl, and if I'm not there when you want to crawl then do it anyways. But, feel free to hold off for a little bit longer. I don't think I'm ready for you to be mobile. Oh wait...I give up.

Emma Rolling Over

2010-03-18T23:31:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the poor lighting, but you'll get the idea.

Back to work

2010-03-08T22:32:00.001-08:00

Well, today was a great day for a quite a few reasons, but the biggest one is because I started back to work today. Dan spent the day with Emma and I got to see my friends for the start of my last month (my position was eliminated so my last day is April 2). I thought that I knew what today would be like...leaving Emma for the first time for a whole day, and all. I expected some tears (more from me than from her), some guilt, not being able to focus, and a variety of other struggles. Without a tear in sight I left Emma resting peacefully with her dad and drove my little convertible (Zoe) to my office. Once there I settled right in to my routine with some oatmeal and tea, then said hi to some people, and got reacquainted with my desk.

I left for lunch and realized how much I enjoy my job (which highlighted how much I'll miss it when I'm not working there anymore). Regardless of where I'm working or what I'm doing, I think that I'll always need some kind of work in my life to keep me balanced. I felt a little guilty for feeling so good about not having her with me, but my mom said that it just means I'm confident in the decisions that Dan and I have made regarding her care and me going back to work. I know it helped that Dan was the one watching her that first day and I got to see them for lunch, but I didn't feel like a bad mom for going back to work. It was actually relaxing to not have someone dependent on me 100% of the time. I was recharging from the past 14 weeks and I knew that when I went home I would be able to have fun with Emma and Dan and feel rejuvenated as opposed to exhausted.

Another reason it was a great day is because my manager sent me flowers and a card that everyone in the department had signed welcoming me back. I also had a follow up appointment from my eye surgery last week to remove the cataract in my left eye and everything is healing perfectly. My eye is still dilated and I already have 20/20 vision in that eye (great news).

So, the rest of this week will be a patchwork of daycare, but most of it's free so I can't complain. We'll see how it goes, but I have a good feeling about this.

3 months

2010-02-28T21:55:00.000-08:00

Wow Emma!! It is unfathomable to me that three months and one day ago you were actually still inside of me. The last three months have flown by even faster than everybody said it would. In the past month you have turned into a huge talker and now you're even starting to laugh. Every day when your dad comes home he looks right at you and says, "How's my beautiful girl?" and you give him the biggest smile. I can tell that it makes his whole day. You've gained serious head and neck control so the next milestones will be rolling over, then sitting up without falling over, and then you'll move on to the big stuff like crawling and walking, but I'm getting ahead of myself. For now you love it when we put you on your changing table. You just start talking and laughing and making the funniest facial expressions. We try to capture your cuteness on film and sometimes you cooperate and give us a smile, and sometimes that smile turns into a pout (which is pretty cute too).

One thing that we're really thankful for is that you're starting to sleep longer and longer each night. You gave us the best Valentine's Day present ever and you slept for almost 7 hours straight!! I couldn't believe it when I woke up the next morning and looked at the clock. Since then your sleep has been more and more consistent, and for the past week or so you've been sleeping from about 10pm until 5ish or so in the morning (even until 6am sometimes). That's amazing considering that you were sleeping 3-4 hours in a row until then. That also means that you're awake more during the day so we get to see you discover more and more about this world around you.

Today was an exceptionally special day for us because we dedicated you at church. Your great-grandma Vi, great-grandma June, great-grandpa Harold, grandma and grandpa Sumner, grandpa and grandma Ellis, Aunt Becky, great-aunt Pam, great-aunt Vicky, and great-uncle Ken all came to celebrate with us as we committed to doing our best to be the parents that God wants us to be for you. We know that he chose us as your parents for a reason, and today was our way of honoring God by recognizing that He is the leader of your life and saying that we will support you as you build a relationship with Him and seek His will for your life. We've seen God's hand at work in our own lives and want the same for you. The verse we chose for you is Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." As you grow up, you will face challenges and sometimes you will be overwhelmed and not know what to do. God will give you peace during those times if you look to him so that you can always know that He is by your side. Your generation will need to see that they can have hope in something besides what this world has to offer. You can share the joy, peace, and hope that God's given you in knowing Him.

My little Emma, we love getting to know you and learning how to be parents. We know that we'll make plenty of mistakes, but at least for now you're young enough to not remember them :-)

All my love always,

Mommy

Two months in the blink of an eye

2010-01-28T23:42:00.000-08:00

Hi little Emma bean,

Never in my life have two months gone by as fast as the past two months. Over the past month you've done quite a few exciting things. We celebrated your first New Year's and although you were sleeping when 2010 made its west coast debut, you woke up with a glimmer in your eye looking forward to all that this year holds. Last month's squeaks became this month's coo's and you've become quite the talker. We have many conversations during the day where we "coo" back and forth.

If only I had an interpreter to tell me what your little sounds mean, but I'm getting better at understanding you and you certainly let me know if I'm not giving you what you're asking for (especially when you're hungry). Over the past few days you've discovered something exciting about your tongue...that you have one. You look like a frog just sticking it out, pulling it in, sticking it out, and so on, but it's so entertaining for your daddy and me.

You're awake for longer periods of time during the day, and you're starting to sleep for longer periods of time at night (I can't thank you enough for that). I never thought that I'd be thankful anytime I got more than four hours of sleep at a time, but now you're starting to sleep for five or even six hours at a time at night. Let's keep it up! You're getting stronger and stronger all the time, so in just a few weeks you'll get to explore all the fun toys waiting for you when you can hold up your head. We're starting to get you on a routine, but you are great at just going with the flow and your daddy and I are so thankful for it. No matter where we are there's always a line of people wanting to hold you and it just reminds us all the time how much love surrounds you. Your daddy and I talk all the time about how amazed we are that you're a part of our family. You inspire both of us so much and you love listening to your daddy play his guitar for you at bedtime. Nothing puts you to sleep faster or easier than that guitar. You also enjoy the swing from time to time, and you usually (but not always) fall asleep in the car.

We look forward to seeing you every day because you're growing and changing so quickly. Before long you'll be all grown up, so we're treasuring every minute with you and praying for you non-stop.

We love you baby girl,

Mommy

6 week stats

2010-01-11T16:15:00.000-08:00

At Emma's six week check up she weighed in at 9 lbs. 14 oz. and measured 22 inches long. That's the 49th percentile for weight and 63rd percentile for length. Her head circumference was 14 3/4 cm (39th percentile). So, she'll be tall and skinny with a well proportioned noggin. Hip hip hooray for those tall, skinny Sumner genes.

To my beautiful one month old

2009-12-28T20:33:00.001-08:00

My dear Emma,

It literally feels like yesterday that we were at the hospital meeting you for the first time. The past month has gone by faster than I ever thought it could and I knew it would go by fast. The days have just evaporated and sometimes I sit and hold you and stare at you while you sleep thinking how amazing it is that you're actually here.

We're still getting to know you, but everybody who meets you tells us how beautiful you are (we, of course, already know this). When you were first born we could barely tell the color of your eyes because they were closed so much, but over the past couple weeks you've been opening your eyes wider and staying awake longer. You're practicing lifting your head and turning it from side to side, a developmental milestone that you'll take for granted in a few months. And, you and I make a great team in getting you all the food you need. You just started smiling in the past week or so and even though it's probably because you're so gassy we love that smile (but we're sorry that you're so gassy). You follow us with your eyes and you squeak like a little mouse quite often. Your dad and I are working on getting you set up on a routine so that you can start sleeping longer through the night. It's not that I mind getting up a couple times a night to feed you, but I am looking forward to the day that I can get more than 4 hours of sleep in one chunk. Now that your dad is back at work during the day you and I have some quality time together and I love that I have the opportunity to be with you for the next couple of months before I go back to work.

You have a sweet temperment and are an amazingly happy baby unless you need something. I can't wait to see you continue to grow, but I know that will come in its own time and faster than I'd like so I will treasure these days with you. Your dad adores you and is amazingly sensitive to what you need. He loves taking care of you and protecting you. I walked into our room tonight where you were going to sleep (although you have been particularly fussy today) and he was seranading you.

We pray for you every night that God will guide you and protect you as you grow. Our love for you is unfathomable to us, and God loves you even more. You change every day and I'm so thankful that God chose us to be your parents. You are a true blessing to our lives.

All my love my sweet girl,

Mommy

Baby's first Christmas

2009-12-26T23:11:00.000-08:00

Christmas came and went this year, and Emma made out like a bandit. Not only did she get completely spoiled, but she got the full Christmas experience by going to her great-grandma Vi's on Christmas Eve, grandpa and grandma Ellis's with grandpa and grandma Sumner on Christmas morning, great-grandpa and grandma Hunt's house Christmas afternoon, and great-great Uncle Chuck and Aunt Ruby's house a couple days after Christmas. Not to mention we had our own Christmas celebration (which Emma conveniently slept through) on Christmas morning at our house.

We haven't started too many traditions yet, but one thing that Dan and I have done every year since our first Christmas together and continued this year with Emma is read the Christmas story out of our Thomas Kinkade family Bible. I know that as the years go on traditions will develop and grow just as our family will continue to grow.

It was great celebrating Emma's first Christmas with all of her grandparents together. I realized sitting there that it was just last Easter that we told all of them together that Emma would be joining us, and there we all were sitting at Christmas with Emma in our arms. She was by far (and forever will be) the best gift we've ever received.

Fourteen days

2009-12-12T16:32:00.000-08:00

So much has changed in the past fourteen days. Little did we know a few weeks ago when we got our maternity pictures taken that it was only six days before little Emma Reese would make her arrival. Thanks again to our friends Matt and Jenna we have these pictures of our two week old Emma.

Introducing Emma Reese Sumner

2009-12-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

After our daughter was born, the biggest decision we had left to make was deciding on a name. We had come to the hospital with three or four finalists, but decided to hold off on making a final decision until I had time to recover a little and we had time to get to know her a little more. Understandably, our family and friends were very curious to know her name (as were we), but we wanted to make the right decision and not make it hastily so we took our time.

Ultimately, we decided that she looked like an Emma Reese, and even though we went back and forth several times before finally deciding we're glad we took our time. For a few days afterwards I actually second guessed our decision and thought that maybe we should have gone with one of the other names we were considering, but after those days passed I knew that we made the right decision.

Emma means "whole, complete, universal" and another meaning is "healer of the universe," and Reese means "enthusiastic, or fiery." We'll leave the universe healing to God, but we pray that Emma will be an enthusiastic servant of God as he brings that healing.

Honey, It's Time

2009-12-04T15:05:00.001-08:00

We had a relatively uneventful Black Friday with some shopping, lunch, and fun time together after Dan got off work around 1ish. We bought the formerly mentioned digital camera with plenty of time to learn how to use it before delivering our baby a week or two from then, so we left the camera in the box on our counter so Dan could play with it over the weekend. We worked for a while on organizing our office (one more thing to get the house baby ready), and then decided to call it a day. Dan went to bed and I was watching tv for a bit before heading to bed myself.
It was 10:30pm and I felt a small pain in my lower left abdomen (almost like a pop or strong kick from the baby, but it hurt). Within the next minute or two I felt something that felt like how they describe contractions. It wasn't too strong, so I figured I would go to sleep and see how I felt in the morning. I fell asleep, but woke up 30-45 minutes later with the same feeling. I fell back asleep, and woke up another 30 minutes later with the same, but slightly more intense feeling. I was starting to get suspicious that this could all be leading to something, but I was so tired that I went back to sleep. Well, after a few more cycles of this the feeling was getting so intense that I was starting to use my special breathing that I learned for dealing with CONTRACTIONS. That breathing stirred Dan out of his slumber and he asked if everything was okay. I told him that I was having real contractions and he said, "Are you messing with me?" We had always talked about doing a practice run but this was the real thing. I told him that we needed to start timing them and that definitely woke him up.

He found the stopwatch (next time we'll have it a little more handy) and started writing down how long each contraction was lasting and how far apart they were. He was getting some last minute hospital items together since our bags were already packed and in the car along with the carseat, and then I had a contraction that was so intense that I puked...a common thread throughout my pregnancy so why stop with labor. I told him that we should call the doctor even though it was 2am so he called and Dr. Christina Lee was on call for Dr. Kroll that night. She said that normally with a first baby she would wait to tell us to go to the hospital until the contractions were a little closer together, but because they were so intense that I was getting sick she said to go now.

It was "go time." I got dressed, Dan was unpacking the camera he had gotten the day before from the boxes, so apparently he would be learning how to use it in the delivery room, and at first I thought about taking a shower before we left but I had another contraction and decided that I just needed to get to the hospital so I could get the epidural as quickly as possible. I continued having contractions as Dan drove and it got to the point where he would tell me when a contraction was coming because they were so consistently close together.

We got to the hospital around 3am, so he dropped me off at the lobby while he parked the car. I had another contraction in the lobby while he parked, then he came in and I had another contraction as we were getting off the elevator onto the fifth floor. I had to get on my hands and knees because there wasn't anywhere to sit, and when that one subsided we proceeded to the admitting desk where I had another one. I signed a few papers, probably signed my life away (I'm not really sure), stood up and my water broke right there. Talk about timing!! I walked, with my broken water to the nurses station where they got a wheelchair and took me to the room where I was going to deliver our daughter while Dan followed with all of our bags.

I got changed into the hospital gown and at about 3:30am I was already 5-6 cm dilated, so the contractions had obviously been doing their work. But, they were PAINFUL, so I wanted an epidural and I wanted it FAST (like yesterday). Here's a picture of a few of my contractions...Apparently it was a popular delivery night because there were six other people who wanted an epidural at exactly the same moment I did. Fortunately, my nurse bumped me ahead of a couple others because I was so far along, but she still had to put a little pain medicine in my IV to hold me over until the epidural doctor became available. Finally, around 4:30am I got relief when the epidural went in. I think Dan's hand appreciated that I got an epidural just as much because during the contractions I squeezed harder than his hand had ever felt before. Right after the epidural kicked in I was already up to 9 cm so it was a good thing I got it when I did, otherwise I would have been past the point of no return. I would have delivered her much sooner, but with a lot more pain.

After I got the epidural the nurse told me to try to relax and she would be back in about an hour and a half to see how things were coming. I was actually able to sleep for a little bit while Dan charged the new camera he had just gotten the day before. Yes, we were charging our brand new camera IN the delivery room at 3:00 in the morning. Dan had called our parents to let them know what was happening and at first my mom didn't believe him. He had joked at Thanksgiving that he would call her at 3:00am as practice, so when he called shortly after 3:00am my mom had to talk to me to be convinced that it was the real deal.

The nurse came in around 6:00am and I was 10cm and the baby was at the +1 station so things had progressed. She said she'd be back at 6:30am to start pushing, and in the meantime my dad came in and brought Dan breakfast. When the nurse came back I rolled from my side to my back, but it made me nauseous and I puked again so she gave me some anti-nausea medicine and let that kick in before she came back at 6:45 to start pushing.

I pushed with the contractions and was making significant progress but during one contraction the baby's heartrate started to drop so they gave me some oxygen and rolled me to my side for a few minutes so her heartrate could come back up. It did, and at 7:00am there was a shift change so a new nurse came in to continue helping with the delivery and I continued pushing with each contraction that were now between 1-4 minutes apart. After 40 minutes I had gotten to the point where she was ready to come out, but the doctor wasn't there yet. My doctor wasn't on call that night, so we were waiting for Dr. Lisa Diaz to arrive and she was about 15 minutes away. So, because of the epidural I was able to just wait for her, and when she arrived I pushed with another contraction and out popped our baby's head (CRAZY!!!). Then, the doctor pulled out our daughter and we heard the most beautiful sound of our newborn baby's cry, and it was loud. The doctor cut the cord, then Dan trimmed it down to where it was clamped. Then they brought her over to me and I met our baby for the first time.

She was 6 lbs 10 oz, and 19 inches long, born at 7:46am on November 28, 2009. I had been planning this whole time on a December baby and hoping that she'd come a little early to avoid her birthday being too close to Christmas but I hadn't expected a November baby.

I was surprisingly unemotional (I didn't break into tears or have an overwhelming emotional response like you see on t.v). I had definitely not expected to have a baby that morning so I think I was still in shock over what just happened. I was, of course, so happy and thankful that she was healthy (9.9 on the APGAR scale and they don't give 10's, so she was as close to perfect as they get), but she was crying, I was tired, and I couldn't believe that she came three weeks early. I had no idea what was in store regardless of how many books I'd read or classes I'd been to. I was a mom, Dan was a dad, and our baby was counting on us 100%.

Now all we needed to figure out was her name.

So much to be thankful for

2009-12-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

As Thanksgiving day drew to a close and we had celebrated with my family and Dan's parents all at my parents' house I was so thankful for the people that surround us as we head into a new part of our journey together (which wasn't supposed to start for another week or two). We all had a great day full of wonderful food and talking about all that was in our future with a new addition on the way. I have a whole list of things that I'm thankful for, but my family and friends top the list.

We headed home looking forward to the rest of our weekend with a little Black Friday shopping, and some rest and relaxation on Saturday and Sunday. Well, our lives were on the verge of a massive paradigm shift and we had no idea. We woke up Friday morning and Dan headed to work for a half day while I lounged around at home. He got home and we headed out to check on a couple sales and get a digital SLR camera that we wanted to have in time for labor-day with plenty of time to learn how to use it before the big day. So, we got the camera and a computer desk and planned to go out the next day to get all the last minute stuff we needed before the baby came. That night Dan said that he would figure out how to use the camera over the weekend and I said that we definitely wouldn't want to be learning how to use a new camera in the delivery room (ironic considering what happened that night).

He went to bed with the best intention of being an expert on the camera by our little girl's birth day. At 10:30 that night he was asleep, but I felt a little something different. That little something different resulted in us having our baby the next morning. But, you can imagine that there's a whole story of how the rest of the night progressed. To be continued...

4,000 words

2009-11-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

Often times I wonder how we've ended up with such dear friends who are so amazingly talented and share those talents with us. Today, a friend of ours blessed us by taking some amazing pictures that we will treasure forever. Here's a small selection, so if a picture is worth a thousand words then you're getting a bargain...4,000 words worth of pictures in one post. Thank you so much Matt for capturing these memories for us.

My GQ centerfold

Blissfully Unprepared

2009-11-21T11:24:00.000-08:00

Anyone who tells you that they're ready to have a baby is either lying or delusional. At my doctor's appointment on Wednesday she said to make sure the hospital bag is packed and the carseat is installed because she anticipates that I'll deliver earlier than my due date (what I always thought anyways). We've known since April that we were going to have a baby, and even still I asked Dan last night what he would feel if I told him that it was time to go to the hospital and he said that he would probably freak out a little. I appreciate the honesty because I feel the same way. We're a bit crazy and are getting a minor kitchen renovation and new vinyl windows and glass doors, hopefully before the little one arrives, which is contributing to the overall feeling of being unprepared. But, even if everything in our house were perfect, I've seen friends go topsy turvy when they think they know what to expect with a baby and the baby has other plans.

So, we're living in the land of the blissfully unprepared. It's like waiting for Christmas when you don't know when Christmas is going to get here (that's not her name, by the way). In the meantime, while I've been home I have had plenty of time to notice all of the little projects I'd like to get done before she's born so my label maker is getting a workout. I may be blissfully unprepared, but at least I can be organized. I think they call it nesting :-)

A girl after my own heart

2009-11-07T08:26:00.000-08:00

We're continually making progress on getting our house baby-ready, and last weekend we got a closet organizer for the nursery and Dan installed it. After he finished putting it in, he called me into the nursery to take a look. Well, be still my heart, when I walked in and saw this arrangement in one of the closet cubes I knew that he is SO ready to be our little girl's daddy.

He might make fun of my shoe fetish, but he's certainly encouraging it in our daughter. Now we just need her little feet so all those awesome shoes can really go on display.

(If you can't read the plaque, it says "I stimulate the economy one shoe store at a time"...so patriotic)

The best laid plans

2009-11-07T08:07:00.000-08:00

I'm continually amazed at how much my little girl is really the one in charge around here (I'll be holding on for dear life once she actually arrives). At my most recent doctor's appointment last Tuesday she said that she had some concerns about the swelling and contractions I'd been experiencing, and when I told her I was planning to work until December 4 she said, "No way. I'm tempted to put you out of work as of today, but I can let you go through the end of the week if you have some things you need to wrap up."

Excuse me??? Of course I have some things I need to wrap up...like everything I was planning to do in the next four weeks. After the shock wore off I realized that my only job right now is to make sure I deliver a healthy baby, so if that means going out of work early then that's what it means. Fortunately, my manager was understanding and worked with me to make sure that I got everything taken care of before I left work last night, but the last three days have been a true whirlwind. And, my coworkers threw me a surprise baby shower yesterday before I left. I honestly work with the best people, so while being off work for so long will be relaxing I'm thankful that when the time comes to go back to work I get to go back there.

So, while I had a certain idea of how things would proceed until my maternity leave, my plans changed and now I have the gift of time that I wasn't expecting. I'll be catching up on my scrapbooking, knitting, and cooking, and if anybody has a free day my door is always open and I'd love the company.

Holy Cow...We're Having a Baby!!

2009-11-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

Not like it's news at this point, but there is a strange reality that is quickly setting in that our baby is due in 6 1/2 weeks (approximately 46 days if anybody is counting). We took the tour yesterday of the Labor and Delivery unit at Hoag where I'll be delivering and after that Dan and I both looked at each other as if we both suddenly realized that in a month and a half we'll be there welcoming our little girl into the world. We also both held a darling little three month old baby girl at church yesterday, and after we gave her back to her parents there was another realization that we'll be those parents taking our daughter with us when we leave (if anybody sees us leaving without her, please remind us to get her from the nursery).

Suddenly, things are in serious overdrive. We got the closet organizer for the nursery yesterday afternoon, the crib will be here this week, and we're actively planning our minor kitchen renovation because life would be too boring if we just relaxed.

I've had the joy of experiencing some Braxton Hicks contractions over the past week, so my body is actively preparing for what I've heard can be a long day in labor. I have no problem heeding the doctor's advice to put my feet up and stay hydrated. My maternity leave starts in 5 weeks, so while things aren't necessarily winding down yet I'm definitely trying to keep things organized in case plans change and I have to go out early.

It has been quite the journey to this point, and the next 6ish weeks will be no different. Away we go...

A Walk (more like a waddle) Down Memory Lane

2009-10-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

Oh, memories. As I'm bombarded by the fact that I'm having a baby in 10 weeks (if she comes on her due date), I have become a bit nostalgic. And, since it's been a while since my most recent post, I figured I would do a recap and an update.

How I remember my initial reaction the morning of April 3 when I found out that I was having a baby and got to tell my husband that he was going to be a dad! I was overwhelmed with joy and a burden of responsibility for the little life we were being entrusted with. Then, when we got to tell our families on Easter (April 12) with a little note, "Just like a flower that blossoms with time, we're due to bloom December '09," I knew that our little one would be surrounded by an unbelievable amount of love. We heard the heartbeat for the first time on April 24, and there was nothing like seeing our baby in the earliest stages (we were only about 6 weeks along at that point) and seeing the look in Dan's eyes when we knew that the little cluster of cells growing inside of me already had a much bigger spot in both of our hearts.

At around 12 weeks we got to share the news with our extended family and friends. After you've been married for 8 years without kids people start to wonder a bit if they'll ever come, so sharing the joy with everyone was priceless. I felt the first little "quickening" on the Friday of week 17 which was such a strange feeling. It was so faint, but I knew that it was our baby making her presence known. Then, on July 20, we had our long awaited appointment to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. To see Dan's eyes tear up when the ultrasound technician told us it was a girl gave me goosebumps. Of course, we would have had the same reaction if it was a boy, but I always pictured Dan with a little girl so it was very special moment. And, while I'd be just as happy to forget, I seriously remember being sick for a LOOOONG time (if you've read any of my other posts, you probably caught on to that), but we'll just waddle on past that part to the 48th and final puke. I was on a plane traveling back to California from a work trip to Vermont on the Friday of my 21st week and had to high-tail it to the lavatory at 30,000 feet. On that trip, however, my co-workers threw me a surprise baby shower and I was taken aback by their thoughtfulness and generosity. I work with amazing people who are also my friends and I'm just grateful that I got to see them all before I go out on maternity leave.

Since then, we've had a couple more doctor's appointments where we consistently get good news of a healthy baby who will apparently love to be swaddled (she nuzzles her way into every little corner to tuck in nice and tight). Of course, there's the ligament pain that wakes me up in the middle of the night every time I move, and the cataract (not pregnancy related) that showed up about a month or so ago which means I'll have to get lense replacement surgery once she's born, and I'm still nauseous from time to time, and TUMS and I have grown very close thanks to my bouts of indigestion, but here's the thing...I'm carrying around the little life of the most precious baby girl ever. And when I think about how bad I'll be as a mom it makes me more grateful for the grace of God who makes up for all of my mistakes. It gives me hope that even through all of our faults, we might turn out a daughter who will be okay in the end.

As I round the corner on this waddle down memory lane, I just have one final question...has anybody seen my ankles? I seem to remember having them at some point, but they've disappeared, so if you happen to find them just send them back my way.

A Perfect Day

2009-07-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

I know it's saying a lot, but Dan and I had a perfect day on Monday. Because I was sick last month on our anniversary, we postponed our celebration to this month and it was absolutely awesome. Dan booked a day at Glen Ivy Day Spa, so we got there first thing in the morning and started the day with a couple's massage (mom-to-be massage for me, swedish massage for him), then proceeded to relax in the "lounge pool" for a bit where we floated around on blue pool floats and I actually got to lay on my stomach which I haven't done in a while (the floating device adjusted to my belly). From there, we headed to the red clay pool and covered ourselves in detoxifying mud (trying to avoid getting it all over our swimsuits) and baked for about 10 minutes in the sun. It was funny seeing everybody's reaction when he wrote "BABY" on my belly. After that, we rinsed off and headed to "The Grotto" for a moisturizing treatment where they basically painted us with this aloe moisture stuff and then we hung out in a warm misting room with everybody else while the moisturizer did its thing. Then, we rinsed off and stayed for a bit in the cool mist room where they have hot tea, water, and apples...fabulous. My skin felt amazingly hydrated after that.

At that point it was pretty much time to head out, and what better way to end a day at the spa than with lunch at In 'n Out. Of course, this was the third time in four days that I had eaten at In 'n Out, but when something sounds good it just sounds good and nothing else will do. After lunch we went home, took a long nap, and cleaned out our garage (we still wanted to be productive). We ended the day with a wonderful dinner at Elephant Bar and then Dan continued working on the garage while I fell asleep on the couch watching HGTV. It really doesn't get much better than that if you ask me.

So, if anyone ever wanted to know what my perfect day looks like, this is it...a long relaxing day spent with my husband and no where specific to be except with each other.

Final tally

2009-07-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

The final vote in our boy/girl/wait poll was "Boy: 10, Girl: 13, Wait: 5." And the winner is...

GIRL!!! That's right, Dan and I are having a baby girl and we are so excited (of course we would be just as excited if we were having a boy). It's so nice to know so that we can plan and share the news with family and friends. There are so many unknowns with your first baby that, at least for us, the more we can find out the better. Our hats go off to the people who can actually wait until birth day to find out...we didn't have the patience this time around but we'll see if we can stick it out when it's time for number two. We both teared up when the ultrasound tech told us, and last night Dan started recording some of his songs so that I can play them for our baby when I'm at work. I'm feeling her move from time to time and am just waiting for the day when Dan can feel her too.

The past month has been pretty standard for us, but I did hit a milestone. I've made it just over a week without puking so I'm hoping I can keep it up. The nausea isn't completely gone, but as of now the final count is 45 barfs and I'm hoping that's where it stays. We've made a lot of progress on our house and have finished projects that we started four years ago. Our master bedroom and nursery are painted, as well as the ceiling over our staircase that has been unpainted since we got the ceilings scraped right after we bought the place. Progress, not perfection. There are still a variety of things that we want to finish before our daughter arrives, but we're moving forward and that's all I can ask.

Last month we also celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary (June 23), but our celebration consisted of me sitting on the couch all night being sick. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who got us a day at the spa to be used when I'm feeling better so we're heading out to Glen Ivy this coming Monday. He got me a pregnancy massage, and boy do I need it, along with entrance to the Grotto for us both to enjoy. I can't wait.

Now the real work starts with figuring out what we'll need for the little one, not to mention trying to find a name (which we won't be telling anyone until she's born, just so you all know). It feels like there's so much to do, but the further along I get the more satisfied I am with the little things. I still have two pairs of jeans that I can button, I'm sleeping through the night thanks to my body pillow, and I'm eating just about whatever I want. My favorites so far are smoothies from Jamba Juice, Rubio's nachos, In 'n Out, yogurt, fruit, and I'm still going strong with the cereal. I'm sure all of those will change as time goes on, but for now I guess it's the closest to cravings that I've really had.

Well, this little girl has me plum-tuckered out, but hopefully I'll do a better job of keeping everybody updated now that I'm starting to feel better.

The adventure continues...

Baby bump

2009-06-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple weeks, but I was hoping for my next post to be announcing the victory over all things nausea related. Unfortunately, I'm still waiting for that day to come (as I'm sure everybody else is, and I know Dan is), but that's no reason to keep people in suspense over what's been going on in the Sumner home for the past couple of weeks.

We had my 12 week check up a couple weeks ago and everything is going along just fine. We saw the little one again and this time we saw it turn around, look straight at us, and start sucking its thumb all on the ultrasound. It's crazy that the baby was only a couple of inches long, so its fingers were only millimeters long and it was already getting its thumb into its mouth. Since then, the most exciting things have been the various places I've puked other than my house...Don Jose's, Del Taco, my office at work...and the list goes on. The count is up to 37 and I'm hoping that everything they say about feeling better after the first trimester is true. Depending on the day I take 1/2 of a Zofran when I start feeling super bad and that normally gets me through the worst part of the day. I'm still eating a lot of cereal and today I fell in love with the Tomato Basil soup at the Nordstrom cafe. I bought a jar of it because it was so good and I'm just hoping that the soup doesn't turn into something that I can't stand like my previously mentioned Del Taco bean and cheese burritos. How I loved those burritos until a week or two ago when after one bite I was reliving that burrito in the Del Taco bathroom. I haven't been able to even think of them since then.

Now that I'm 14 weeks along I'm definitely starting to notice how things aren't quite fitting the way they used to. So, I realized that this was the excuse I'd been waiting for to go shopping for some maternity clothes. Dan and I headed out last night to see what we could find (he even let me think that he was excited to go with me...what a guy) and I did a little more shopping today. All together I got five things. It's nothing to build a wardrobe, but I think of maternity clothes kind of like a wedding dress. You only wear them for a short amount of time in the whole scheme of things so why break the bank. Yes, I want to look good, and yes, I have been a big frump for the past couple months, but a change is in the air. Now that I'm at least feeling a little better I want to be one of those cute mommies-to-be that's stylish and shows the world that I haven't completely given up on myself now that I'm pregnant. Hmm...that might be a little ambitious for the time being. I think I'll just start with trying to load the dishwasher and see how that works out.

Blessed beyond measure, pressed down, and overflowing

2009-06-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

This week was, by far, the most fun I've had yet being pregnant. We let the word spread and it spread FAST!! We are overwhelmed by the kind words, well wishes, and congratulations that have come our way since announcing our big news, and I'm so grateful for the people that are surrounding us and our baby with love and prayer during such an exciting time. There have been several people over the past year that I've shared with about our struggles, and I had no idea that even more people than that have been praying for us to be blessed with a bundle of joy.
Last night Dan helped me bring up some boxes to the elder meeting at church and when we got up there and shared the news, they all gathered around us and prayed for us. On Tuesday, after telling everybody in the youth group, one of the other leaders told me that she had shared our struggles with her mom a while ago when we first asked for prayer. Her mom has been praying for us since then and has a baby blanket for us because she trusted that God would answer her prayers.

I really can't put in to words the peace that I feel when I think about the rest of the pregnancy, and even parenthood. I haven't felt anxious or worried or stressed because I know that we are covered and carried by God. Yes, the nausea has been uncomfortable (if you didn't pick it up from my other posts) and with the barf count up to 28 as of tonight I can't say that I will miss this particular part of being pregnant, but mostly because it means we're that much closer to meeting our baby. And, now that the news is out and we can talk about it openly we're just appreciating all of the love that people have already sent our way.

Thank you to everybody who is celebrating with us. There's always enough joy to go around!

Daddy Dan

2009-06-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

I don't think it has really truly hit me yet. To think that I am going to be a dad is a crazy, exciting, and heart pounding thought. I am super happy. I have always had a special place in my heart for kids and I think that God really was just preparing me for all that is about to come. I look forward to meeting the little one and building a family with the love of my life.

Stay tuned for more to come.

This is posted by Dan if you didn't figure it out.

Surprise Announcement

2009-06-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

Jenny and I wanted to trick the youth group and make them think that we were showing a video of Brianhead 2009 (the ski/snowboard trip) but really... well you'll see.

Dan

One step closer

2009-05-29T20:32:00.000-07:00

That's right...today is 11 weeks down, and I'm one step closer to the land of the living. This week has had its ups and downs with my first A.M. barfs (up to 25 for those keeping track...oh wait, that's just me), but there was also a day or two that I started to see a light at the end of the toilet bowl. I'm not drinking nearly enough water because all that fluid doesn't really settle well, but I've had my fair share of Del Taco bean and cheese burritos with red sauce (yum-o) and I can't even start on the boxes of cereal and gallons of milk I've consumed, not to mention the pizzas, oyster crackers, granola bars, and fruit. It's certainly enough to feed a small army, but I guess that's what a baby with a 170 heart rate needs for now (or at least what its mom needs). I'm really just waiting for the day that I don't feel hungry thirty minutes after eating a pizza. Currently, hunger=nausea so it's just food, food, food all the time. It's funny, at one point I would have LOVED to have had a free ticket to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it, and now that I kind of have it I just don't want to be hungry anymore.

Next week is going to be super fun. We're going to tell the youth group on Tuesday night and I'll tell the elder board on Thursday night. After that it's basically common knowledge. Right now we're working on the video that we're going to use to tell the youth group and all the leaders...it's going to be awesome. There's still so much to do before Little One's arrival, but we're not stressing and are just taking one day at a time. I'm just waiting for that burst of energy the doctor told me I'd get around week 14. With all that we have to do around here my house doesn't stand a chance.

10 weeks down

2009-05-21T17:30:00.000-07:00

Well, tomorrow is 10 weeks pregnant and the barf count is up to 17. I'm not really sure why I'm compelled to keep track (or to share it), but someday I'll want our little one to know that he/she was worth all of it. We had another doctor's appointment on Monday and I was just expecting to meet with the doctor but because we had to wait a little longer she gave us a free ultrasound. It was so awesome because I was still expecting a little round, unidentifiable thing, but me-oh-my was I amazed when I actually saw a head, two legs, and two arms, and heard a heart beat of 170 beats per minute (that's pretty fast).

Here's what we saw on April 24 at our first appointment. The baby was 4 millimeters long and had a heart rate of 120 beats per minute.

On Monday, May 18, this is what we saw. It's like the little one is just chillin' (I guess there's not much else for him/her to do. But, you can clearly see the head and two little legs (we saw the arms in another picture). So, baby is about 1 1/2 inches long with that fast 170 bpm heart rate AND we even got to see it move during the ultrasound. Super cool.

So, we'll keep everybody posted and once I start showing I'll do my best to post those obnoxious belly shots so you can all guess which part is baby and which part is all the food I've been eating to help the nausea.

How time flies!

2009-05-12T17:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I can tell already that this baby will be here in no time because I can't believe that I'm already more than 8 weeks pregnant. Some days it feels like it's been longer, and other days it seems like it might never end (being sick all the time), but I know that December will be here before we know it and a new little Sumner will enter the world.

We had our first doctor's appointment on April 24 and as of that date the little one was four millimeters long, had a heartbeat of 121 beats per minute (they say it will get faster once it gets a little older), and the estimated due date is December 18, 2009. So, not only will we get the tax credit for this year, but I've already met my deductible so the pre-natal care and birth will practically be free. This baby is already following in my frugal footsteps...way to go kid.

We also got our first pictures which I'll post shortly even though it just looks like a little blob. How amazing that a whole person comes out of that?!?!?

I've been feeling nauseous all the time and so far the barf count is up to 12 or so, but I have a new best friend whose name is Zofran. It's actually medicine that keeps me from throwing up all the time (because it would be ALL the time) and helps a little bit with the nausea, although I still definitely feel icky all day and have to eat something small consistently because food basically evaporates as soon as it goes in my mouth. Seriously, I never thought I'd be feeling so sick and eating so much all at the same time. The worst is waking up at 2:30 in the morning because you need to eat some crackers so you can fall back asleep. I'm getting a sense for what a baby feels like when it wakes up for a nightly feeding. Your body doesn't give you any choice...you have to eat to go back to sleep.

Dan is already Super Dad because he's essentially been a bachelor for the past couple weeks. He's been making all his own dinners, helping me all the time even if it's less convenient for him, doing laundry and dishes, he even organized MY side of the closet (an astounding feat if you've ever seen my closet). He is banking some serious points for when I'm feeling better even though he says that he wishes he could even do more. Dan, if you're reading this, I couldn't be pregnant without you (and not just in the obvious way). I feel so loved and cared for by you and I can't even tell you how much I appreciate all the little things you do for me to show me, especially when I'm puking in the bathroom (or in the car, or on the couch, or at my desk, or in bed at 1:22am...yes it's that bad). You're a one of a kind Super Husband and you'll be a Super Dad, which overall makes you Super Man!

My next appointment is May 18, so I'll meet with the doctor and make sure things are on track. I'll be about 9 1/2 weeks at that point, so still relatively early. We'll probably wait a little longer to tell EVERYBODY, but so far the people we have told have been so happy for us. It reminds me how blessed we are to have people who love us and support us because I know that not everybody is so lucky.

At this point I'm just looking forward to waking up one day and not feeling sick, but I know it's all for a noble cause. Don't worry Baby, I know you're worth it!!

All-day sickness

2009-04-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

Wow!! For as much as I want to be pregnant, it sure doesn't feel all that great right now. For the past few days from when I wake up in the morning to when I go to sleep at night I find myself wanting to puke. I haven't (yet) and hopefully I won't because I want to keep all the nutrients inside of me so the little one can grow big and strong, but, my goodness, growing a person really takes it out of you. I know that the sickness means that hormones are working right and that the baby is growing (they say that the start of sickness coincides with the start of the heart beating), so I am thankful. I also know that it's all for a good cause and that it won't last forever. In the meantime, though, it's like I'm walking around with a constant lump in my throat and chewing my crackers way longer than necessary until my reflexes cooperate and allow me to swallow.

A couple things that seem to help are eating cereal first thing in the morning to get something in this roiling tummy of mine. Also, I keep crackers by my bed so when I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning I can pop a few to help take the edge off so I can go back to sleep. I've still been going to the gym because the moving and deeper breathing actually helps a lot, and I've been eating like a picky pig...peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, crackers, bananas, oatmeal, cheese, ginger ale, but the thought of just about anything else makes me pukey (last night's chicken parmagiana from Pomodoro sounded like a good idea until it came to the table). Always having something in my stomach is a big help, but even then the relief just lasts for a few minutes before I try to find another way to soothe this pukey beast. Now I just hope and pray that what I put in actually stays down. I've heard that B6 helps a lot with the sickness and some people have said that the motion sickness bracelets take a bit of the edge off. Our first appointment is this Friday so you can bet I'll be asking questions about what I can do to feel better.

I know I don't have it as bad as some other people in prego-land, but if it could just subside for part of the day I would be so happy. It's hard to not tell anybody that you're pregnant when you feel like a pile of icky. You want to keep up the same energy level so nobody knows that anything is going on, but when all you want to do is lay on the couch and go to sleep it's hard. Dan and I have been going to sleep before 10pm every night for the past week or so and it's so nice getting a lot of sleep, but it's even nicer because when I'm sleeping I don't feel sick.

Lord, do what you need to do so we have a healthy baby, but if any part of that includes settling my stomach I'm definitely up for it.

Easter surprise

2009-04-12T20:40:00.001-07:00

This whole week has been so fun. I've been feeling great and actually went to the gym every day (well, at least Mon-Fri...even I take the weekends off). It's amazing what you're motivated to do when you realize that a whole other person is 110% dependent on you. I made my first doctor's appointment for April 24 and signed up for all sorts of baby related web sites. It was so fun knowing that for the time being Dan and I were the only ones who knew I was pregnant. It was like this fun little secret that we were keeping from EVERYBODY and it was so fun. There were a couple times that it was super hard, like when we were talking to Matt and Jenna Gruber at church about a possible summer vacation to Hawaii and Matt said jokingly that we better not get pregnant before then because it would ruin the whole trip (totally joking). Dan and I just had to laugh because it's going to be even funnier when the time comes that we actually tell them. There were a couple other funny moments, but today was the day we decided to share our secret with a few other special people. We went to my parents' house for Easter lunch and asked them ahead of time if Dan's parents could join us as well. We had a great lunch and an even greater Easter egg hunt.

After lunch and the hunt we took a few family pics and then the moment came. We had decided ahead of time that we wanted to keep the distribution of info very limited to avoid any issues down the road if there are any problems with the pregnancy. So, it was just my parents, Dan's parents, Becky, John, Pamela, and Sara (practically an adopted sister). We had gotten a couple Easter lilies yesterday and I wrote out two identical cards that said, "Just like a flower that blossoms with time, we're due to bloom December '09." Both pairs of parents were sitting in the same place and I knew if we didn't act fast we would lose the moment. The guys were going to get fitted for tux's for John's wedding and I knew that Larry and Carolyn wouldn't stick around until they got back. So, Dan got the cards out of his jacket (we didn't want anybody unintentionally opening one early), and gave one to each mom along with a flower.

Well, this is what happened...

It was totally AWESOME!! Both sets of parents were so surprised, as was everybody else. We filled them in on why we are being so specific on who we're telling and that it's still super early to be spreading the news outside of our immediate family. They all totally understand where we are coming from, but it was so fun to be able to share the news with them. I know it's hard to not tell anybody and I told them that we certainly know that it's hard having kept it from them for over a week. It's almost like a burden of information because you so want to share the good news, but you know that it's not time yet. Still, we were so happy to share the news with all of our parents at once and especially have such an awesome response on such a great day.

To our moms and dads, and our baby's grandmas and grandpas, thank you so much for your love and support and all of your prayers. Our little one is SO lucky to have grandparents like you and we can't wait for him or her to meet you all. I think that we'll probably have the harder time being patient, but time will definitely fly.

What an AWESOME day!

Can't believe I forgot!!

2009-04-07T23:55:00.000-07:00

In all of my excitement, I realized that I never actually said HOW I told Dan that I was pregnant. I had ordered a photo book in December that had pictures of us dating, getting engaged, married, and through recently. The book's captions followed the rhyme: "Dan and Jenny sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage." I also wrapped up the positive test so he could see the line for himself. Needless to say he was so happy. Now we get to plan how we're going to tell everybody else!!

Things are about to change with this little package...

Here's Dan looking through the book...

This is when he sees the good news...

And here's the proud papa to be...

I think he's happy :-)

I love you too honey!!!

Catch up

2009-04-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

Obviously, there was a pretty big gap between my post in February when I thought I might have been pregnant (and wasn't) and when I found out that I actually was on April 3. Here's a rundown of what happened in March.

I was pretty bummed that I wasn't pregnant in February (and that's putting it lightly), but I ended up making snowboarding plans with some friends towards the beginning of March so I didn't really let it get me down. I continued thinking, wishing, praying, and even broke down in tears in the March church elder meeting because our pastor said that he felt a strong sense that we needed to wait (not just me, but he said it towards everyone and it really hit me). After a good 20 minutes I finally got it together and honestly felt like a lot of healing took place in the quietness of those moments. God has such an ironic way of using moments of brokeness for ultimate healing.

So, I felt like God was telling me to just wait and that things will happen when they're supposed too. I already knew this to be true, but hearing it in such a direct way really hit home. I carried on, continuing to hope and pray, but ultimately feeling like it might still be a while considering the "wait" message. Come mid-March it was time for my annual check up so I shared with my doctor that we'd been trying to conceive (ttc) for a year, so she ordered some tests for me and Dan just to make sure everything was working right. She spent a good 45 minutes with me explaining various options and sharing about her own history (best doctor visit ever...thanks Dr. Kroll). As she was walking out she said that she had a strong feeling that she'd be taking care of my pregnancy very soon and that she sprinkled her pixie dust on me for good luck. It sounds silly, but just her saying that gave me so much hope.

I know that a year of ttc is not long in the whole scheme of things, and a friend who was in the middle of the adoption process when she got pregnant said that now that her son is here she would have waited 10 more years knowing the joy he would bring. Regardless, there is so much unknown when you've been trying for a while with nothing happening. The fact that my doctor had enough faith for both of us was so reassuring. It turns out that her pixie dust (and all the prayers) did the trick because that night, or the next ;-) the stars aligned and little baby Sumner started to grow.

Of course, at the time I didn't even know it, but this is how funny God is...last year when the sign ups started for a snowboard trip to Brianhead, UT with the youth group from our church I decided not to go because I was convinced that I'd be pregnant by then. Well, March 17 or 18 was the magic moment, and Brianhead was March 19-22. So, even though I didn't know it, I actually WAS pregnant before Brianhead!! I ended up spending that weekend with some college friends who were in town (shout out to Laurie and Anna) so it was a great weekend no less, but I sure didn't think I was pregnant.

Fast forward to March 26, Dan had gone in for his test a few days prior (awkward for him...sorry honey) and he had been a little snippy for a couple days. So, that night I asked him what was wrong. After sharing a few things that had been bothering him he put his head in his hands and started tearing up. I asked what was wrong not really knowing what to think and he said that he was sad that we hadn't had a baby yet. Well, from that point the floodgates opened for both of us. We spent the next two hours on the couch crying together and sharing everything we'd been thinking for the previous year.

Now, you might ask why it took a year for us to get to that point (after almost 8 years of marriage), and that would be a very valid question. The short answer is that we were both trying to protect the other person. The long answer is that when I would start talking about baby stuff, Dan said that I was stressing too much about it and said that I shouldn't think about it because he thought the stress might be keeping me from getting pregnant. I knew that he wanted a baby but thought that he just didn't want to talk about it, so I wouldn't. Well, what was really stressing me out was NOT being able to talk about it, and the reason that he WASN'T talking about it was to try to protect me. We sat on the couch and talked about ALL of it. I shared how badly I wanted to be a mom and how scared I had been to go to the doctor because I didn't want to find out that something was wrong that might prevent me from being able to get pregnant. He said that he was worried that something might be wrong with him and said how guilty he would feel if he was the "reason" that we couldn't get pregnant. It was like a deep breath for our marriage. You know how there are those conversations that take place in a relationship or marriage that you never forget? The ones that reshape the way that you talk with each other, act towards each other, and just think of each other? Yeah, it was like that.

After we talked, we went to dinner and just carried on (what else would we do?). It seemed like that was what we were waiting for and our marriage will be stronger and better because we were able to have that conversation. And again, little did we know that at the same time we were crying on the couch, baby Sumner had already started to grow. But, God knew what we needed and I am so thankful that we were brought to the place where we could be so open and broken with each other.

We got Dan's test results the next day and they were a little questionable. Dan was very discouraged even though he was still within a healthy range for the test, so Friday 3/27 was a rough day for him but I think that it was actually easier due to the conversation we had on Thursday. So, we carried on just trusting that God knows what he's doing and that when it's his time and his way that our family would grow.

Then, April 3 came and everything suddenly changed. (Refer to April 3 posts).

To my baby

2009-04-03T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hey there little one,
I am so amazed that even as I write this you are growing in my tummy. I've always dreamt of being the only person in the world who knows that there's a whole other life coming in to the world and here we are, you and me. Just last week your dad and I were sitting on the couch crying because we wanted so badly to be parents, and little did we know that you were already getting started inside of me. We love you so much, no matter what, and we always will, no matter what. Even though we had to wait a little longer than we wanted, I know that you will be born at God's perfect moment. While we've been waiting for you, I've learned so much about God and his plan for my life, and for your life. In every situation there's something to learn about God and about ourselves and I learned that I couldn't always just wait for things to go my way. There are some things that really are just out of my control and God is the one who knows why things happen the way they do.

Oh little one, you are a blessing from God and my heart is overflowing with joy just knowing that you're on your way. What a plan God has!

See you soon.

Love,
Mommy

Speechless

2009-04-03T17:08:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. I took another test this afternoon and it also came out positive (an electronic one that actually says "Pregnant" on the screen) so I wasn't imagining the little blue line I saw this morning.

My heart is beating so fast because I get to go home and tell my wonderful husband that our dream is coming true and we're going to have a baby. I'm overwhelmed with joy and responsibility and so many things.

So much has happened in the past month, so I'll have to write a recap post at some point, but right now I get to grab the little book that I made in December that tells Dan that I'm pregnant and I get to give it to him tonight. You only get to tell your husband one time that you're pregnant with your first child, so I'm actually a little nervous. I have dreamt of this day for years and here it is. Inside of me is a little bundle of cells that's going to grow up into a real person, and I get to tell Dan tonight that he's going to be a daddy. Thank you Lord!!!

So much to say

2009-04-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. I just this very moment found out that I'm pregnant!! I had a feeling that I might be but I didn't want to be disappointed, so I waited a little while to take the test but I just did and there two blue lines. There is so much to say that I don't have time for right now, but my heart just started beating a whole lot faster. At this very moment, I'm the only person in the whole world who knows that there is a little life on the way that for the next 9 months (and longer) is totally dependent on me. I can't wait to tell Dan. This blog is about to get a whole lot more interesting.

Microscopic

2009-02-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

There is a teeny-tiny, itty-bitty, miniscule, as-close-as-you-can-get-to-zero-without-being-zero kind of chance that I might be a little teensy bit pregnant. I'm totally not getting my hopes up, but here's the deal. I got this microscope a few weeks ago so that I could start doing at home saliva fern tests to see when I might be the most likely to conceive. They sell kits that you can get for $30 but thanks to Craigslist I got a $10 all inclusive microscope that does the job. Every morning, you're supposed to put a little bit of your saliva on the slide and once it dries you look at it through the microscope. If it looks like a bunch of little ferns then it's a good thing. Most days it just looks like blobs, but on February 2 it was definitely ferns. So, here we are eleven days later and I've psyched myself into the possibility that maybe it really worked. I actually took a pregnancy test this morning, but it was so old that nothing registered on it (not even the control part) so that was useless. I'm feeling different today than normal and it's either because I'm coming down with something, or because there's a little teeny-tiny, itty-bitty, miniscule person already growing inside of me. Yeah right, not getting my hopes up? C'mon. I guess we'll find out tomorrow. What a great Valentine's Day present for Dan to find out on a day that we celebrate love that in a few short months we'll have someone else in our lives to love. Still dreaming.

Mental block

2009-02-04T15:19:00.000-08:00

There are a few different people at work who have had trouble getting pregnant and over the past couple weeks they've shared the info for their doctors who are currently helping them. It's so weird, because as much as I want to have a baby, I haven't gotten to the place where I want to talk to a doctor about it. I don't know if I just want it to happen when it happens and let God be in total control of the timing, or if I'm totally freaked out about going to a doctor who specializes in INFERTILITY. It's such a strange word. It makes me feel like, for some reason, I'm less of a woman, or a bad wife if I can't just get pregnant without the help of a doctor, even though those thoughts don't even cross my mind when hearing about other people's experiences. Maybe if I think of the doctor as a conception specialist or pregnancy facilitator I might be able to get over it. Even still, it's a big hill to climb. Maybe I'm really scared of finding out something that I don't want to know. That's why a lot of people don't go to the doctor even when they know something's wrong. Maybe I don't want to find out that we really do have a problem, or that we can't have babies at all.

Honestly, it doesn't feel fair or right or real to me that we can't just wham, bam, pop out a baby. We have so much love to give so why does it have to be so hard. It seems like no one can get pregnant on their own these days, and I just always envisioned it being so easy (at least that's what they make you think when you're in high school). Psychologically, I can't even say the word out loud when referring to myself (I definitely do not consider myself infertile). Mentally, I can't move myself to pick up the phone and make an appointment even though both people said that they love their doctors and one is even four months pregnant! I'm crazy. I want something, but won't take active steps to make it happen. I can't figure out if it's part of the surrender or part of the control. Either, I'm surrendering and just letting God take this situation and do with it what he will in his time, or I'm forcing His hand by not taking steps that could ultimately answer our prayers. It's so confusing and frustrating and disappointing all wrapped into one big question.

I think it's going to take me a little longer to process through the emotions and be able to talk about it. Dan and I don't even talk about it other than dreaming about when it actually happens. Honestly, it's scary and I feel like a disappointment every month when we find out, yet again, that I'm not pregnant. It's not that Dan makes me feel that way, but I just don't understand why it's not happening. I can only dream in terms of someday's, and maybe's, and when the time is right. I want to be saying twelve weeks along, two months to go, due in October. I want to talk about names and baby showers and car seats. I want to be decorating a nursery and hearing heartbeats and feeling little kicks.

For now, I just rely on hope.

Affirmations

2009-02-02T15:09:00.001-08:00

Last July when I really started to get discouraged, I came up with a list of short affirmations that help me re-focus and remember all the things I already know about God and His faithfulness. Whenever I start to question things or stress out I just read through these, take a few deep breaths, and it totally helps calm me down. God is so good.

God has infinite power over my life
His timing is always perfect
He will always do what’s best for me and those around me
Out of this experience only good will come
God is orchestrating the world in my favor
Everything is working out for my highest good
I am safe
All is well
Now be still

At work right now there are six people who are currently pregnant (or whose wives are), and one whose wife had a baby a month ago. You'd think that with so many people who are pregnant it would be inevitable for us to get pregnant too. Something must be in the air or the water. Oh well...all in God's time.

Another month, come and gone

2009-01-26T16:10:00.000-08:00

I must say, my heart longs to be a mom. People can say we haven't been trying for very long, and realistically ten months isn't that long, but I see people walking around with their babies and as much as I smile on the outside it makes me sad on the inside. The other day I asked Dan if he would totally freak out if I told him I was pregnant, and he said that he would just be excited (not scared at all). He said that he really wants a baby and is completely looking forward to it. He mentions it sometimes and I know how badly he wants to be a dad. Our little one will come at the right time, but sometimes I just feel like crying that it hasn't happened yet. I have friends in the same boat and I know that God uses all of our experiences to accomplish his will in all of our lives. I just get my hopes up sometimes that I might be pregnant and when I find out that I'm not it feels like another step back. I just have to keep trusting God.

This control thing

2009-01-08T23:20:00.000-08:00

I've come to a big realization lately that has hit me square in the face. I am a control freak. Little did I know it until now when things aren't quite working out the way I thought (although I'm sure Dan would tell you that he's had my control-freakness pegged from the beginning). If it were up to me, I would be in the hospital right now giving birth to a beautiful baby. What I have learned is that it's not up to me. It's about allowing God to teach me something about myself and ultimately growing more like Him through what I learn.

I have never seen myself in a position to control anything, but at the same time when there is something I want I try to find a way to get it. I'd never considered that being controlling, just focused and determined. Through this experience of not getting pregnant on my timeline, and having absolutely no control over it (no one to convince of something, no calls to anybody to make it happen faster) I thought initially that God was teaching me patience. What I learned is that I'm already a fairly patient person with a pretty long fuse, but what I've been waiting for is ultimately what I WANT. It's like, "if I just sit here and wait long enough I'll get pregnant and I'll have what I want...it's just a matter of time." I can wait as long as it takes for people to come around to my way. What God is teaching me is that ultimately it's not about getting what I want, regardless of how long I can wait. It's truly about surrendering to what He wants. Not just His timing for my desires, but His perfect will for my life.

The patience thing is easy, but the control thing gets me. I start wondering when we're going to get pregnant and I start thinking about how we'll tell people, and decorating the nursery, and names. But, the most painful memories are of things that haven't happened yet (or never did, or never will), so I circle back to the place of wondering when it will happen, why it hasn't happened yet, is something wrong, etc. Truly surrendering means focusing on God entirely and learning what He has to teach me about Himself. God is actually the least control-freakish even though He has the whole world in His hands. He leaves us to do whatever we want. He might not be happy with our decisions (and sometimes neither are we), but He never stops loving us. Some people might ask why He continues loving us when we constantly turn our backs on Him, but it's actually the ultimate example of relinquishing control to someone who can love you more if you give them the choice rather than if you force it on them. True spiritual growth happens by letting go of things so that something new can be born.

Through this experience, I continue to grow more towards the person of surrender that I desire to be, but it is a growth process. It's like someone telling God, "I want patience NOW." Growing from control to surrender is like telling God "I need you to make me less controlling." It doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen without going through the experiences that challenge us into those places God is leading. While there have been some ups and downs along the way of my life, I have always had everything I need and quite a few "wants." We have food on the table, often with leftovers going bad in the fridge. We have closets overflowing with more clothes than we even want to wear, and we have a house (granted, still with blue carpet in the bedrooms) that we come home to every night complaining of not enough storage space. What I wrote a few days ago was that I don't want to let my focus on the one thing that's not going the way I want distract me from appreciating all the things that are going well. Thinking about it even more now, what I really don't want is to let the thing that's not going my way distract me from God. It's not about the fact that I have everything that I need (although I'm so grateful for God's provision), and it's not about my focus on not having a baby yet making me any less thankful for what I do have. It's about it not being about what I do or don't have at all. It's about God and His character revealing Himself to me and through me during this particular experience.

What an honor that God gives me the opportunity to grow more like him in the area of surrender. Some people are never faced with such a clear opportunity to grow more like Christ, and here I have it. I'm in the midst of it and I'm so grateful. Not just to learn more about me, but honestly to learn more about God and His character. The clearest lessons are often learned during the most vulnerable times in our lives and the desire to give life to another human being is certainly one of those times. It is not easy to give way to my desire to have a child and fully surrender to God's will, but everything happens to grow me more towards the person I was created to be. My nature is to try to control the situation with deadlines, calendars, and ovulation tests. My desire is to say, "God, my life is yours. Do with it what you will, when you will, and how you will so I can become more like you." So, that is what I say, and if I say it enough then one day I will say it and will realize that he HAS been doing those things, and then I'll be in the midst of another lesson that's teaching me something new and wonderful about the awesome God we serve.

For our baby-to-be

2009-01-01T22:57:00.000-08:00

Hi there little one,
We have been waiting for you for a while (and still are) and we are so excited for the day when we find out that we're going to be blessed with you in our lives. Back in April of last year when you were a little glimmer in our eyes, I wrote a couple thoughts in a journal about what we're excited about, what we hope for you, and our prayer for your life. Here are those thoughts:

~April 20, 2008
In August, 2007, your dad and I went on an awesome cruise around Europe (Italy, Croatia, France, Spain...incredible). Back then, we were only thinking about when we might start having kids. We would talk about it in "some days" or "when the time comes." You were just a glimmer of a thought, but we were already praying for you. Even now, you still haven't even started growing inside of me, but I think about you all the time and pray for the awesome man or woman you'll become. Your dad and I just decided on April 16 (2008) that we were going to start trying to make a baby and already we can't wait to meet you...to see what features look more like your dad or more like me, or will you look more like your aunt or grandpa? No matter what, we already love you...no matter what.

I look at your dad every day and I can't wait to see the way he plays with you, smiles at you, sleeps with you, protects you, and teaches you. He is an amazing man of God and you are so lucky that he's your dad. He's so excited for you to come too! Just this morning he asked if I thought you were growing in my tummy yet, even though he knew you weren't. He just can't wait. We've been married for almost seven years, and I fall more and more in love with your dad every day. I've seen him grow in love and patience and understanding, and I know that you will learn how to live a Godly life by watching him.

People ask us all the time about you. Your Grandpa and Grandma Ellis are already talking about how special you are and Aunt Pam already has clothes picked out. Since your daddy and I have been talking about you, I decided to go to the doctor to make sure that I'm healthy and she said that I am. I've been taking my vitamins and trying to eat right so you'll be healthy and happy.

More than anything, we pray that God will protect you while you're growing inside of me and that he will continue to guide you after you're born. We love you more than words can say.~

~April 28, 2008
Well, there's a small chance that you're growing inside of me right now. I won't know for a week or two, so we'll just have to wait and see.

Last Friday was a lock-in with the high school youth group at church (your dad and I have been leaders there for a long time), and as I was watching the students play dodgeball I started thinking about what you'll be like 14 or 15 years from now. What kind of things will you like? Will you have any brothers or sisters? Will you be in band, or play a sport, or be on student council? What will you think of your dad and me? Will we have been good parents for you and your siblings?

Of all the questions, I know we will always love you no matter what. That's the answer to every question...it doesn't matter because we love you.~

~July 1, 2008
Well, we're still waiting for you to come along, but your dad and I both know that things happen for a reason. Sometimes I get sad because I want you to be here already, but God's timing is perfect so we're willing to wait until he says it's the right time.

In the meantime, I'm still having fun dreaming about you and how fun it will be to have you in our lives. We don't want to wait, but we're trusting God. ~

(Back to today)
As you can see, you are way more than a glimmer or twinkle in our eyes. We are totally preparing for you to come into the world, but while we wait we are appreciating the time together that we're building our relationship and falling more in love with each other so that we can share all of that love with you.

Oh little one, we miss you so much only because we dream about you all the time and can't wait for our dream to come true.

Resolution

2009-01-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

Last night I suggested to Dan that we come up with five goals for 2009. His response..."baby, baby, baby, baby, baby." While five babies isn't quite what I had in mind (nor do I want having a child to seem as trite as a new year's resolution), we are certainly resolute in our desire to add to our little family. We spent a large part of today with my parents and before leaving our home, but after helping us tremendously with some of our projects, they prayed for us that God will guide our steps and that things will happen in his timing instead of our own.

That is all that we want, and more than having a baby our resolution for 2009 (and always) is to fully abandon ourselves to God's will and sink into his love.

Baby Dreams

2008-12-31T12:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, I don't know about anybody else on the road to mommyhood, but I must have this deep-seeded fear that I'm going to be a horrible mother because I have had three separate dreams on different occasions (always the night after holding babies or heavy baby/parenting discussions) about how bad I'll be as a mom. While I realize that in reality I won't leave my child in a car while I perform in a musical (dream #1), or in a car while I attend a seminar taught by my pastor at some random school (dream #2), or forget to feed her/him for a month because she/he was sleeping (dream #3) it still raises serious thoughts about whether I'm subconsciously terrified about eventually being a mom.

I guess if I thought I'd be the best mom in the world I would be in for a rude awakening by the time Baby Sumner shows up, so I realize that I'll have a lot to learn and I may feel like a failure at times. But, I also realize that we won't be raising Baby Sumner alone, so family and friends be warned...I'll be a complete mess as a mom so I'll be relying on each of you to remind me that I have a baby in the back seat and that it needs to eat.

I'm sure more dreams will come, but I like the day dreams way better than the ones that come at night. The day dreams are full of sleeping babies, little giggles, and a small human that has both Dan and I wrapped around a teensy-tiny finger.

Anticipation

2008-12-30T13:49:00.001-08:00

Dan and I have been married for 7 1/2 fantastic years, and we decided that now is as good a time as any to give the parenthood thing a try. Little did we know that it would be a little longer journey than we anticipated, but one that would develop patience, peace, faith, and ultimately surrender. We decided around March of 2008 that we wanted to grow our little family, and not by getting a third dog (Pebbles and Bailey...we love you). Everything was dandy and the doctor said we were good to go. Well, here we are in December without an embryo in sight. As the months have passed, I've gone through everything from disappointment, frustration, anger, sadness, hope, and more disappointment, all tempered by the fact that we're still young and have a lot of baby making years ahead. The desire to have a child has continued to grow even more than it was back in March. Seriously, by the time our baby actually arrives, there won't be room in the world for all the love we'll have for the little one.

We just celebrated Christmas and my favorite gift of all was from Dan (naturally). He got a little onesie that says "Nothing's wrong...just testing you" with a little winking face. He wants to send baby thoughts my way, so I have it in my closet where I see it every morning and every night. The more I think about what the onesie says, the more I'm reminded of how much God is truly in control. Through this whole experience I've been committed to wanting only what God wants for us in his timing. It's difficult to surrender my plans to what God has for us, but that's just what the onesie reminds me to do...every day. I know that God doesn't want me to worry, and as far we know nothing is wrong that's keeping us from getting pregnant. He doesn't want me to be so concerned about what I think I'm missing that I end up truly missing out on all the great things in my life. I have a wonderful husband who loves me dearly and whom I love more every day, a supportive family that I get to see as often as I want, and friendships that will last for the rest of our lives. We both have great jobs and two adorable dogs that adore us no matter what mood we're in. Yet, in all that good, it's so easy to let one thing that's not going according to my plans become all consuming. So, I've decided not to worry. While I know that God doesn't test us to defeat us, I do think that he's teaching me things about my own desires to control my life (and ultimately the little lives we'll be entrusted with).

I've moved from anticipation to peace, from disappointment to contentedness, and from sadness to surrender (or at least I'm in process~ aren't we all?).