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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Walk (more like a waddle) Down Memory Lane


Oh, memories. As I'm bombarded by the fact that I'm having a baby in 10 weeks (if she comes on her due date), I have become a bit nostalgic. And, since it's been a while since my most recent post, I figured I would do a recap and an update.

How I remember my initial reaction the morning of April 3 when I found out that I was having a baby and got to tell my husband that he was going to be a dad! I was overwhelmed with joy and a burden of responsibility for the little life we were being entrusted with. Then, when we got to tell our families on Easter (April 12) with a little note, "Just like a flower that blossoms with time, we're due to bloom December '09," I knew that our little one would be surrounded by an unbelievable amount of love. We heard the heartbeat for the first time on April 24, and there was nothing like seeing our baby in the earliest stages (we were only about 6 weeks along at that point) and seeing the look in Dan's eyes when we knew that the little cluster of cells growing inside of me already had a much bigger spot in both of our hearts.

At around 12 weeks we got to share the news with our extended family and friends. After you've been married for 8 years without kids people start to wonder a bit if they'll ever come, so sharing the joy with everyone was priceless. I felt the first little "quickening" on the Friday of week 17 which was such a strange feeling. It was so faint, but I knew that it was our baby making her presence known. Then, on July 20, we had our long awaited appointment to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. To see Dan's eyes tear up when the ultrasound technician told us it was a girl gave me goosebumps. Of course, we would have had the same reaction if it was a boy, but I always pictured Dan with a little girl so it was very special moment. And, while I'd be just as happy to forget, I seriously remember being sick for a LOOOONG time (if you've read any of my other posts, you probably caught on to that), but we'll just waddle on past that part to the 48th and final puke. I was on a plane traveling back to California from a work trip to Vermont on the Friday of my 21st week and had to high-tail it to the lavatory at 30,000 feet. On that trip, however, my co-workers threw me a surprise baby shower and I was taken aback by their thoughtfulness and generosity. I work with amazing people who are also my friends and I'm just grateful that I got to see them all before I go out on maternity leave.

Since then, we've had a couple more doctor's appointments where we consistently get good news of a healthy baby who will apparently love to be swaddled (she nuzzles her way into every little corner to tuck in nice and tight). Of course, there's the ligament pain that wakes me up in the middle of the night every time I move, and the cataract (not pregnancy related) that showed up about a month or so ago which means I'll have to get lense replacement surgery once she's born, and I'm still nauseous from time to time, and TUMS and I have grown very close thanks to my bouts of indigestion, but here's the thing...I'm carrying around the little life of the most precious baby girl ever. And when I think about how bad I'll be as a mom it makes me more grateful for the grace of God who makes up for all of my mistakes. It gives me hope that even through all of our faults, we might turn out a daughter who will be okay in the end.

As I round the corner on this waddle down memory lane, I just have one final question...has anybody seen my ankles? I seem to remember having them at some point, but they've disappeared, so if you happen to find them just send them back my way.